Through the Veil- Spiritually Speaking


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I had walked the roads of loneliness, searching for someone or something to make me understand the truth.
Show me the truth. Show me the mirror to my soul. Make me see.
Why won’t anyone see how much this means to me? I’m not perfect nor do I try to be.
I’m just an imperfect, lost being trapped inside a world of darkness and sorrow. Grief and anguish. Despair and devastation.
Someone take me by the hand and show me the truth. I need to see what’s really behind that wall that is blocking me to view in on what I need to know.
I’m sinking. I’m in quicksand fighting my way out, from being suck in any further.
I’m fighting but growing weak. Getting weaker and weaker.
I see a person walking towards me. A silhouette of a man whose stature is strong. He’s coming closer. Closer still.
I know him. A man who gave his life to protect his own. A man who had never gave up. A man who no matter what was there to lead me and protect me.
I see his hand, reaching out to me. It’s large and strong as it gripped my smaller one.
I am pulled to safety. Relieved, knowing that all is well and that my troubles are gone away.
I said I missed you.
He smiled and stroked my cheek.
He said back that he is always here for me and my siblings and will always look over us.
I love him. I missed him dearly.
He was my best friend but father first. He looks down on me from the Heavens, and is here when I need him.

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Losing  someone that close is hard. But it gets better as time pass. Sometimes it seems like your whole world has crash, I know the feeling. I was devastated. Mad with God. Mad with everyone. I had refused to believe that the one person who matter so much had been taken away. It had taken a while for me to find myself. I was a total mess. I barely had a support system. Time manifested itself. I went through more issues afterwards, but I’ve gotten stronger.

It has been 12 years since my father passed and it took over half of that to get over his death. I know he would want me to move on and to live my life the best I can. I now how something to live for, my precious six-year old daughter.

Take time out for you. Find that special place that gives you that blissful moment. Time heals itself. Take all the time you need, no one expects you to overcome your grievance in a day or two. Go back to that happy place that lifts up your spirits. Keep precious memories alive.

I dedicate this post to my loving, dear father, Andrell James.
I love you. 🌹

 

Music, Read, Walks & Trampede


For today’s Writing101 assignment, we are to write about what we do when we are not writing. Well, as of lately, all I’ve been doing is writing, writing, writing; among other things that falls into that category. I rarely gives myself a break from writing- a fear that I might fall into boredom.

As you can see, I have a rather bored life. When I’m not doing the obvious, I like to read. It can range from novels of all kinds to posts from fellow bloggers. When I’m done, I find something else to read.

Walking is not just for your health, but it’s the spiritual aspect of that appeals to me. (I wonder why this body weight hasn’t went down more.) People would always tell me that I can walk my butt off, and I would then look behind me to see if it’s still there. When I walk, it helps clears my mind. I speak affirmations to myself to some people would believe that I’m just merely having a lonely conversation with myself. Walking helps me to stay on track, especially if I am sharing a walk with someone to make the trek more enjoyable.

Music, along with dancing, has been my lifelong passion on a top list with writing. The effects I received when hearing lovely, touching lyrics, or the sweet sounds of a musical instrument puts me in a jubilant mood. You can never be steer wrong when it comes to song lyrics that speaks to your heart or instruments that touch your soul.

With everything moving at a fast pace, I feel like I’m in a middle of a trampede.  Sometimes, I feel like most things get in the way of my writing, running a taxing trampede around me. I have to catch up. I want to catch up.  Writing is never far from me. I’m learning to make time for everything in my life.