Genesis: A Long Time Coming #fiction #MichaelJseries


Photo by Augusto Lotti on Unsplash

Continued from: Genesis: If Only I Knew Before Now

I saw a look of horror stretched across my mom’s face. And my “dad” Jarren appeared angry as he would normally be when I’m gone too long without him knowing about it. When I got out and got my tote bags and extra bags for myself and the family, Mr. Xander rose out of the car like he was on a mission.

Next thing I knew, my “dad” angrily approached him and started shouting.

“What the hell your ass doing here?”

“Excuse me, Jarren. Karena, tell Michael that I’m his biological father.” When Mr. Xander said that, we all looked to my mom who just stared back at us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cynthia walking up. Damn, if only I knew before now.


If only I knew before now that Cynthia was going to show up unexpectedly, I probably would have done something to change the course of action. But no, it was too late now, and both of them was looking at my mom with different expressions on their face. I stared her way waiting just like them for her answer.

My mom glanced nervously around quickly in a 180 degrees turn. She diverted her eyes to the two women who were sitting on the porch talking animatedly about us probably. Then, my mom made a gesture for us to follow her and we all ended up going into the backyard.

My sister, Tiana calmly motioned for Cynthia to follow her and I was glad she did. I did not for the sake of my embarrassment for her to witness and hear what’s going to happen. It was too much to deal with at this time.

“So, anyone wants to tell me why Mr. Xander is saying what he’s saying?” I asked after seeing the three of them exchanged looks as if those looks could kill. I just want them or my mom rather to stop beating around the bush and just say what needs to be said already. I hate when people prolong the inevitable.

My mom lightly touches my arm and smiles sadly. The answer was in her dark brown eyes and all I could do was slap my hands against the side of my head. I really didn’t need someone else to tell me what I already know by now. Though, I feel like it was better if I could hear it from my mother’s mouth, whenever that will be.

“Michael, sit down for me, please.” And I did, a little too quickly.

As my mom took a seat next to me. I saw out of the corner of my eye, both of my dads exchanging words in a heated fashion. This weekend had gone from strange to upsetting for me. I love my mom, don’t get me wrong, but this is out of character for her to do.

“Michael, yes, Xander is your biological father.” She actually rubbed my hands like she would do when I was a kid, and when she would explain something to me she felt I need understanding more about.

Well, I receive my truth. I already guess I should have known how Mr- uh, my birth dad treated me all along. The fact that they all knew for so long, but not that long because I’m not that old, it made me wonder if adults can ever be trusted.

“How do you feel about that, son?” my mom was asking, but any words after that was drowning out by the sound of loud arguing. I turned my head and saw my dads up in each other face, fists balled up at the sides, faces twisted in anger.

“I told you, you couldn’t keep me out of my son’s life forever!” I heard Xander say. The fatherly love that shone through his eyes when he mentioned “son” was taking the word weird to a whole new level. I mean, I feel this way because this is still new to me. Then again, this may me think about how my other dad who raised me knew he wasn’t my father yet still raised me as his own.

“You think just because you laid with my wife and she had your son that you going to keep showing your face and disrespect me? Huh? Get the hell out! You had your say. You spent time with your son, now-get-the-fuck-out. Now!” My dad Jarren was shaking and his skin appeared flushed. The stare he gave Xander was enough to engulf the man in hellish flames. I have seen him angry before, but not to this degree to Xander.

There was no way I am going to come between and stop to big grown-ass men from fighting. They are both at six feet or above and weighing perhaps 250 pounds I’m guessing. And there’s me who is 5’9 and weighing 138 pounds. Yeah, I know. I should stay out of it.

“Hey! Stop fighting!” My mom yells out, rushing over to them.

I stayed where I was and shook my head in astonishment. Like adults wanted us to do is to stay out of their business, even if it is about me I am staying out of it.

As I headed to go back to the house through the back door, one foot on the first stone step, a baritone tone called my name. I saw that it was my dad Xander.

“Michael, follow me to my car, quickly!” He grabbed my arm and before I know it he had me sprinting along with him back to his car.

“Wait! Why am I leaving with you?” I voiced, but it went on deaf ears as he literally pushed me into his car.

As I got my composure and sat up, I looked out of the window and heard my mom yelling for me to get out the car. Everyone started talking at once to the point it was becoming deafening. I was lost at what was best for me to do. My mom and dads were all angry and telling me what I should do.

At that point, I did what I wanted to do because some things haven’t changed for as long as I can remember. And that is the three of them constantly arguing and fighting over me. From keeping secrets to pushing me off to go with Xander somewhere all these years to controlling my entire life. I had enough so I got out and announce that I was going to my friend Craig’s house for the rest of the evening.

They were baffled but I didn’t care. I felt drained and adults don’t ever think how their actions can affect the child(ren). It was too much at once that I can bear. As I started walking, I saw Cynthia coming out of my house. She rushed towards me and gave me a hug.

I looked back at my parents and told them I was going to Cynthia’s instead.

©2020 Pamela E. Hester

Genesis: If Only I Knew Before Now- #MichaelJseries #amwriting #fiction


Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Continued from The Genesis of Michael J’s Life

“You have some nerve being here. What if my husband comes home and sees you darkening our doorstep?” She hissed at him.

“I’ve been to Michael’s graduation away from your family. Now, I’m here to see him in person. I want to spend time with our son… today.”

Karena huffed. She felt like the last bit of energy was draining out of her and she had no strength to do anything about it. She wants and needs for him to be gone before her husband come back home early.

“Fine. When are you bringing him back?”

“It should be an hour before his bedtime,” Xander smirked.

Karena shook her head, knowing that meant whenever he felt like bringing him back. She called out to Michael to grab his things because he was going out for a ride with Mr. Xander.


When I heard my mom calling out to me to pack my things, my first thought was I was going to spend the night with someone. But when I went downstairs and saw her with her arms folded appearing upset standing next to Mr. Xander, I knew something else was going on.

“Yes, mom?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow. I needed to know why I was packing my things and for what.

“Michael, you are going with Mr. Xander for a day. So pack whatever you want, okay?”

Before I could say something, Mr. Xander interrupted.

“Pack an overnight bag, just in case,” he said.

“For what?” I wanted to know.

“Well, there’s a lot we’re going to do today. Pack an overnight bag just in case it runs over into the next day.” The way he spoke that let me know that I may or may not like it.

So I nodded and turned to leave, but not before I saw my mother glaring at the dude like she wanted to yell at him about whatever. I don’t know what is up with those two, and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed that until now.

After I threw some things like two shirts, jeans, socks, underwear, that sort of thing along with toiletries, I called my best friends, Craig and Cynthia to let them know I would be out for today. I know they would be pissed since this is a last-minute thing, but they’ll understand.

When I came back to the living room with my tote bag, I noticed my mom and Mr. Xander staring at each other like they were telepathically having a conversation. I didn’t know what to make of it, and it gave me vibes that they share or once shared some type of love for each other. I cleared my throat and they immediately broke contact to look my way.

“Ready, son?” Mr. Xander asked me.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, wondering why he seems to take great pleasure in calling me, son. Like damn, yeah, I am somebody’s son but not his.

We rode around for like thirty minutes before we ended up at the Robert Mueller Airport. I glanced around through the side window wondering why we were here. A look of puzzlement settled on my face because no one told me we were going to take a flight. Or maybe he was picking someone up like his sister like the last time. All I know is, the vibes I was picking up didn’t feel right.

Don’t get me wrong. I like hanging out with the guy and I have been since I was maybe six or seven. Off-and-on was more like it, and I would constantly hear my parents argued a lot with Mr. Xander’s name coming up just as much.

“Michael, we are going to take a short flight to Austin on my private jet.” When he saw my eyebrows raised up to my forehead, he added,

“Hear me out. We are going to do something different this time. Remember when I told you it was okay to be spontaneous and to do something entirely different than before, well this is it.” He actually said that with a huge smile and twinkled eyes like he had some big secret up his sleeve. I just nodded, feeling some type of way about it.

After we retrieved our bags from the trunk, we walked to the back of the airport. Once there, we got on a white jet with black stripes, and inside was impeccable. I have never been inside a jet before- private or commercial, and I really wish I could have brought Cynthia with me. She would love this!


The day went by smoothly and sort of fast, and I am not complaining either. The activities we did with his family had brought so much fun and joy, I didn’t want to leave. His family really believes in having fun at the highest level. They also like doing things as a family, and they are so tight-knit.

Now that the day was nearing an end, I settled into the cotton sheets and brought the white and yellow bedspread over my shoulders and stared at the ceiling. No matter how much of a great time I had today, I’m still worried about what my dad Jarren told me last night and I haven’t seen him for breakfast.

The next day around five in the evening, Mr. Xander pulled into the Gulf gas station. When I took a peek at the fuel gauge, I saw that it was above the halfway mark. And we are less than thirty minutes from my house. I know we weren’t stopping for gas and the way he steered the car away from the gas pumps to park near a telephone booth, so many things ran through my mind.

“Michael, I have something to tell you.” He started off to say.

“Yeah?”

He turned his full body to face me. He had a solemn expression on his face like something was weighing heavy on his mind.

“This is something I wanted to say for so long. And, it is killing me to get it off my chest. After having a quick talk with your mom yesterday before we left, she told me that it was revealed that your dad, Jarren isn’t your father.”

“Oh! Uh, yeah. I found out the previous night. Why did my mom tell you?” I wanted to know. I knew they were friends, or whatever they are, no one told me, but their weird friendship is making me question a lot of things. And just like with my sibling, we were taught not to get into grown folks’ business.

“Because she-” he paused, and then sighed. He cocked his head to the side and stated, “Michael, I am your father.” He said it with such a straight face I couldn’t help but laugh. I threw my hands over my face and continue to laugh.

“Michael, I’m serious. You know what? Let’s get you home and get our answer while we’re at it. Shall we?” Mr. Xander was serious. I can see it in his eyes. For as long as I have known him, when he was serious, he was serious. He had joked around about things before, but this new to me.

Arriving at my house, I saw my mom walking up and down the driveway glancing down the street probably looking for me. My dad, well, my dad Jarren, or whatever it is I can call him, was bent down digging up something by a bush. When they saw the car stopped by the sidewalk, they paused.

I saw a look of horror stretched across my mom’s face. And my “dad” Jarren appeared angry as he would normally be when I’m gone too long without him knowing about it. When I got out and got my tote bags and extra bags for myself and the family, Mr. Xander rose out of the car like he was on a mission.

Next thing I knew, my “dad” angrily approached him and started shouting.

“What the hell your ass doing here?”

“Excuse me, Jarren. Karena, tell Michael that I’m his biological father.” When Mr. Xander said that, we all looked to my mom who just stared back at us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cynthia walking up. Damn, if only I knew before now.

TO BE CONTINUED.

©2020 Pamela E. Hester

Love: To Be or Not to Be


What’s the definition of love? Love is an emotion and a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  I may or may not truly know what it “feels” like, but I have learned to love who I am. Because self-love feels good and who can love you better than you love yourself.

There may be people who may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Some will love you only if you are doing things for them. And some just may be genuine.

Let’s talk about relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing.

To be love can take on something so extraordinary.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy, compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree with that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationship, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance, but is that all? I have known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I have always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may have become bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe.

Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable, and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. Okay. I won’t go into details-you get the picture. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.

Empathy, love, trust, compassion, growth, appreciation, etc are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that’s all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you.

To not be love or loving, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matter to you. Either, you have been hurt, emotionally damaged, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. Perhaps, love isn’t something you seek, like, or want.

For me, I rather give myself time and just do whatever makes me happy. I have gone through where people have shown their true colors and lost my trust. Hurt, betrayal, and lies come to mind. It is better to focus on the betterment of your life and growth than to wait on that fairy tale Prince Charming that’s coming to save you-or not.

It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself that time. It’s worth it. Trust me, I know.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

 

intimacya feeling of being intimate and belonging togetherMore (Definitions, Synonyms, Translation)

#MusicMonday- My Writing Love Playlist


    Photo by: pixabay.com
    Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. How are you today? Today for #MusicMonday, I am doing something a bit different. I would like to share with you a playlist I created called Writing Love. Sometimes when I am writing certain scenes, music plays its part in helping me to write them, and when it comes to the characters. It builds the mood for me as well. I am still putting together the playlist, but would still like to share the fifteen I currently have.

    Majority of these songs I have listened to while writing and editing the Secrets series novels. I won’t go in-depth about it in this post, but I’ll save it for another time. I believe songs can take a person to that level that they may have never been to before. And to a level that they may not have been to in a while.

    Also, the majority of these songs are based on my characters on how they feel about certain things, people, and themselves. The songs also tell its own story. They can be based on what my characters are going through as well.

    I truly believe that when you write, especially with fiction, you have to feel how the characters are feeling. Understand their thoughts, and so on. I can go on and on about music and writing- two of my favorite things- but it will take several days. Lol.

    To view all the songs, you can click the horizontal lines where it says, 1/15.

    Songs In Playlist:

    1) Bob Marley- Is This Love


    2) Frankie Valli- I Love You Baby

    “But if you feel like I feel,
    please let me know that it’s real
    You’re just too good to be true,
    can’t take my eyes off of you
    I love you baby and if it’s quite all right,
    I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
    I love you baby trust in me when I say”


    3) H.E.R.- Best Part

    “I just wanna see
    I just wanna see how beautiful you are
    You know that I see it
    I know you’re a star
    Where you go I follow
    No matter how far
    If life is a movie
    Oh you’re the best part, oh oh oh
    You’re the best part, oh oh oh
    Best part”


    4) Khalid- Talk

    “Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Talk about where we’re goin’
    Before we get lost
    Let me out first
    Can’t get what we want without knowin’
    I’ve never felt like this before
    I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
    Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Figure out where we’re goin'”


    5) Keyshia Cole- Heaven Sent


    6) Bonnie Raiit- Something To Talk About


    7) Chris Stapleton- Tennessee Whiskey

    “I’ve looked for love in all the same old places
    Found the bottom of a bottle’s always dry
    But when you poured out your heart I didn’t waste it
    ‘Cause there’s nothing like your love to get me high
    You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
    You’re as sweet as strawberry wine
    You’re as warm as a glass of brandy
    And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time”

    8) Selena- Dreaming Of You

    “Now I’m dreaming
    With you tonight
    ‘Till tomorrow
    And for all of my life
    And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    Dreaming with you endlessly
    With you tonight
    And there’s nowhere in the world where I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    I’ll be dreaming
    Of you tonight
    And I’ll be holding you tight”


    9) Usher- Don’t Waste My Time


    10) Faith Hill- Breathe

    “‘Cause I can feel you breathe
    It’s washing over me
    And suddenly I’m melting into you
    There’s nothing left to prove
    Baby, all we need is just to be
    Caught up in the touch
    Slow and steady rush
    Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s suppose to be
    I can feel you breathe, just breathe”


    11) Anita Baker- Sweet Love

    “Sweet love hear me callin’ out your name
    I feel no shame; I’m in love
    Sweet love, don’t you ever go away
    It’ll always be this way
    There’s no stronger love in this world, Oh, baby, no
    You’re my man; I’m your girl
    I’ll never go. Wait and see, can’t be wrong”
    Don’t you know this is where you belong?

    12) Snoop Dogg- Sensual Seduction


    13) Tanto Metro & Devonte- Everyone Falls In Love


    14) Wale ft. Usher- Matrimony (Jerry Seinfield in the beginning talking)

    “If there’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it
    It don’t belong to anyone but you
    If there’s a question of my love, you’ve got it
    Baby don’t worry, I’ve got plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans, oh love
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you”


    15) Beyonce- Crazy In Love (remix)

    “I look and stare so deep in your eyes
    I touch on you more and more every time
    When you leave, I’m begging you not to go
    Call your name two, three times in a row
    Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
    How I’m feeling and my pride is the one to blame
    ‘Cause I know I don’t understand
    Just how your love can do what no one else can”

    Does songs play a part when it comes to your writing? Which ones?

    #MusicMonday- Just Like Animals


    Photo by: pixabay.com, Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful New Year, and that your weekend has went well.

    Close to the end of last summer, I had started #MusicMonday to blog about love songs that have meaning(s), purpose, etc. It was something that had popped into my head and I dwelled on it for a while before getting started, to be honest. I seriously didn’t know how long I was going to be doing this. The first three vertical posts you see below I was thinking about stopping, but as most of you know I kept going.

    These are the first 3 #MusicMonday posts I started with.

    Okay, I’m going off-course here. Today’s post is about how people take love to a level that is unhealthy or toxic for them. I know I have posts songs about being in love and such, but this time for the first Monday of the year, I want to hit on the subject of people who have those types of issues. Why? Because it is important. Some people have a strong attraction to others that they are having a hard time letting go of, especially when it is indeed over. Oftentimes, it can be a physical thing, like for instance: their looks, body, or sex with them.

    The guy, Adam Levine in the video called, Animals, is being a stalker and clearly obsessed with the woman who played by his real-life wife. We all know some people are like this in real life. The ones who won’t take no for an answer and will physically stalk and cyber-stalk you, and may even cause hell for you. And they will try to convince you that you may run but can’t hide from them. They may even tell you that they are and will always be the best person for you and no one else can compare to them.

    Maroon 5 animals maroon 5 GIF

    I’m telling you. There are people out there who are literally like animals (in a bad way), and you will have to be super careful with the ones who also use sex as a way to “keep” you. And, the ones who only wanted sex in the beginning and you, well, or the other person done caught feelings somewhere down the line may feel like they been taken advantage of.

    Okay. Enough of that for a moment; you get the point. I didn’t link the official video of this song by Maroon 5 because it is explicit in some sense. I had only stared at it, and some parts don’t bother me. However, some parts may be disturbing to some people, and I have to respect that or give you some type of warning. So, I just posted the audio to be on the safe side. I love the song, and I love Maroon 5’s songs. If you would like to watch the official video you can check it out here.

    ** Everyone, please be safe out there. Not just with this pandemic because you already know that, but with your heart and body.

    Love,

    Pamela

    LYRICS:

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 1]
    So what you trying to do to me? (Hey)
    It’s like we can’t stop, we’re enemies (Hey)
    But we get along when I’m inside you, yeah (Hey)
    You’re like a drug that’s killing me (Hey)
    I cut you out entirely (Hey)
    But I get so high when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be (Hey)
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 2]
    So if I run, it’s not enough (Hey)
    You’re still in my head, forever stuck (Hey)
    So you can do what you wanna do, yeah (Hey)
    I love your lies, I’ll eat ’em up (Hey)
    But don’t deny the animal (Hey)
    That comes alive when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Bridge]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yo-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals (Hey, hey)
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals, oww!
    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Outro]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    Lyrics Source: Genius.com

    Songwriters: Adam Levine / Shellback / Benjamin Levin Animals lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group, Downtown Music Publishing

    Label: Interscope Records

    Release Date: August 25, 2014

    What are your thoughts on this type of love for another?