Love: To Be or Not to Be


What’s the definition of love? Love is an emotion and a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  I may or may not truly know what it “feels” like, but I have learned to love who I am. Because self-love feels good and who can love you better than you love yourself.

There may be people who may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Some will love you only if you are doing things for them. And some just may be genuine.

Let’s talk about relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing.

To be love can take on something so extraordinary.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy, compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree with that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationship, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance, but is that all? I have known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I have always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may have become bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe.

Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable, and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. Okay. I won’t go into details-you get the picture. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.

Empathy, love, trust, compassion, growth, appreciation, etc are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that’s all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you.

To not be love or loving, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matter to you. Either, you have been hurt, emotionally damaged, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. Perhaps, love isn’t something you seek, like, or want.

For me, I rather give myself time and just do whatever makes me happy. I have gone through where people have shown their true colors and lost my trust. Hurt, betrayal, and lies come to mind. It is better to focus on the betterment of your life and growth than to wait on that fairy tale Prince Charming that’s coming to save you-or not.

It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself that time. It’s worth it. Trust me, I know.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

 

intimacya feeling of being intimate and belonging togetherMore (Definitions, Synonyms, Translation)

#MusicMonday- My Writing Love Playlist


    Photo by: pixabay.com
    Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. How are you today? Today for #MusicMonday, I am doing something a bit different. I would like to share with you a playlist I created called Writing Love. Sometimes when I am writing certain scenes, music plays its part in helping me to write them, and when it comes to the characters. It builds the mood for me as well. I am still putting together the playlist, but would still like to share the fifteen I currently have.

    Majority of these songs I have listened to while writing and editing the Secrets series novels. I won’t go in-depth about it in this post, but I’ll save it for another time. I believe songs can take a person to that level that they may have never been to before. And to a level that they may not have been to in a while.

    Also, the majority of these songs are based on my characters on how they feel about certain things, people, and themselves. The songs also tell its own story. They can be based on what my characters are going through as well.

    I truly believe that when you write, especially with fiction, you have to feel how the characters are feeling. Understand their thoughts, and so on. I can go on and on about music and writing- two of my favorite things- but it will take several days. Lol.

    To view all the songs, you can click the horizontal lines where it says, 1/15.

    Songs In Playlist:

    1) Bob Marley- Is This Love


    2) Frankie Valli- I Love You Baby

    “But if you feel like I feel,
    please let me know that it’s real
    You’re just too good to be true,
    can’t take my eyes off of you
    I love you baby and if it’s quite all right,
    I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
    I love you baby trust in me when I say”


    3) H.E.R.- Best Part

    “I just wanna see
    I just wanna see how beautiful you are
    You know that I see it
    I know you’re a star
    Where you go I follow
    No matter how far
    If life is a movie
    Oh you’re the best part, oh oh oh
    You’re the best part, oh oh oh
    Best part”


    4) Khalid- Talk

    “Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Talk about where we’re goin’
    Before we get lost
    Let me out first
    Can’t get what we want without knowin’
    I’ve never felt like this before
    I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
    Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Figure out where we’re goin'”


    5) Keyshia Cole- Heaven Sent


    6) Bonnie Raiit- Something To Talk About


    7) Chris Stapleton- Tennessee Whiskey

    “I’ve looked for love in all the same old places
    Found the bottom of a bottle’s always dry
    But when you poured out your heart I didn’t waste it
    ‘Cause there’s nothing like your love to get me high
    You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
    You’re as sweet as strawberry wine
    You’re as warm as a glass of brandy
    And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time”

    8) Selena- Dreaming Of You

    “Now I’m dreaming
    With you tonight
    ‘Till tomorrow
    And for all of my life
    And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    Dreaming with you endlessly
    With you tonight
    And there’s nowhere in the world where I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    I’ll be dreaming
    Of you tonight
    And I’ll be holding you tight”


    9) Usher- Don’t Waste My Time


    10) Faith Hill- Breathe

    “‘Cause I can feel you breathe
    It’s washing over me
    And suddenly I’m melting into you
    There’s nothing left to prove
    Baby, all we need is just to be
    Caught up in the touch
    Slow and steady rush
    Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s suppose to be
    I can feel you breathe, just breathe”


    11) Anita Baker- Sweet Love

    “Sweet love hear me callin’ out your name
    I feel no shame; I’m in love
    Sweet love, don’t you ever go away
    It’ll always be this way
    There’s no stronger love in this world, Oh, baby, no
    You’re my man; I’m your girl
    I’ll never go. Wait and see, can’t be wrong”
    Don’t you know this is where you belong?

    12) Snoop Dogg- Sensual Seduction


    13) Tanto Metro & Devonte- Everyone Falls In Love


    14) Wale ft. Usher- Matrimony (Jerry Seinfield in the beginning talking)

    “If there’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it
    It don’t belong to anyone but you
    If there’s a question of my love, you’ve got it
    Baby don’t worry, I’ve got plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans, oh love
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you”


    15) Beyonce- Crazy In Love (remix)

    “I look and stare so deep in your eyes
    I touch on you more and more every time
    When you leave, I’m begging you not to go
    Call your name two, three times in a row
    Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
    How I’m feeling and my pride is the one to blame
    ‘Cause I know I don’t understand
    Just how your love can do what no one else can”

    Does songs play a part when it comes to your writing? Which ones?

    #MusicMonday- Just Like Animals


    Photo by: pixabay.com, Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful New Year, and that your weekend has went well.

    Close to the end of last summer, I had started #MusicMonday to blog about love songs that have meaning(s), purpose, etc. It was something that had popped into my head and I dwelled on it for a while before getting started, to be honest. I seriously didn’t know how long I was going to be doing this. The first three vertical posts you see below I was thinking about stopping, but as most of you know I kept going.

    These are the first 3 #MusicMonday posts I started with.

    Okay, I’m going off-course here. Today’s post is about how people take love to a level that is unhealthy or toxic for them. I know I have posts songs about being in love and such, but this time for the first Monday of the year, I want to hit on the subject of people who have those types of issues. Why? Because it is important. Some people have a strong attraction to others that they are having a hard time letting go of, especially when it is indeed over. Oftentimes, it can be a physical thing, like for instance: their looks, body, or sex with them.

    The guy, Adam Levine in the video called, Animals, is being a stalker and clearly obsessed with the woman who played by his real-life wife. We all know some people are like this in real life. The ones who won’t take no for an answer and will physically stalk and cyber-stalk you, and may even cause hell for you. And they will try to convince you that you may run but can’t hide from them. They may even tell you that they are and will always be the best person for you and no one else can compare to them.

    Maroon 5 animals maroon 5 GIF

    I’m telling you. There are people out there who are literally like animals (in a bad way), and you will have to be super careful with the ones who also use sex as a way to “keep” you. And, the ones who only wanted sex in the beginning and you, well, or the other person done caught feelings somewhere down the line may feel like they been taken advantage of.

    Okay. Enough of that for a moment; you get the point. I didn’t link the official video of this song by Maroon 5 because it is explicit in some sense. I had only stared at it, and some parts don’t bother me. However, some parts may be disturbing to some people, and I have to respect that or give you some type of warning. So, I just posted the audio to be on the safe side. I love the song, and I love Maroon 5’s songs. If you would like to watch the official video you can check it out here.

    ** Everyone, please be safe out there. Not just with this pandemic because you already know that, but with your heart and body.

    Love,

    Pamela

    LYRICS:

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 1]
    So what you trying to do to me? (Hey)
    It’s like we can’t stop, we’re enemies (Hey)
    But we get along when I’m inside you, yeah (Hey)
    You’re like a drug that’s killing me (Hey)
    I cut you out entirely (Hey)
    But I get so high when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be (Hey)
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 2]
    So if I run, it’s not enough (Hey)
    You’re still in my head, forever stuck (Hey)
    So you can do what you wanna do, yeah (Hey)
    I love your lies, I’ll eat ’em up (Hey)
    But don’t deny the animal (Hey)
    That comes alive when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Bridge]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yo-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals (Hey, hey)
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals, oww!
    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Outro]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    Lyrics Source: Genius.com

    Songwriters: Adam Levine / Shellback / Benjamin Levin Animals lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group, Downtown Music Publishing

    Label: Interscope Records

    Release Date: August 25, 2014

    What are your thoughts on this type of love for another?

    #MusicMonday- I’m Only Human


    Photo by: pixabay.com
    Edited by: Pamela Hester

    How many times have you heard someone say: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m only human.”? Probably a lot, right? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard those phrases because they are too many to count.

    It’s something that has been going on for decades, centuries, I’m sure. People make mistakes, but there are times when those mistakes can get careless. Most everyone has a choice, and when that choice is made, it can help or hurt themselves and/or the other person. Sometimes, a person doesn’t mean to hurt (let’s say: their significant other), but a line has to be drawn somewhere. Boundaries have to be set. The “I’m only human” is mostly said to prove a point.

    It is said that when you give a person an inch, they’ll take a mile. I can never understand how a person can take advantage of another, and the mindset of one who feels they have to get even, well, payback could be the best word. Okay, okay. Now, there has been a time or two when I felt like I should get even, and when I did, I felt good about it for a moment. I’m only human, right? The feel-good payback moment doesn’t last long because I am left feeling bad about it. I sometimes hate that “do right by others” who had done wrong to others who didn’t ask for it. I’m only human too and I do have emotions. I feel if not more than I think.

    It is why I had picked today’s song, Human, sung by Phillip Oakley from The Human League. I’m not going to lie. I had only known of this song’s existence in 2012 after hearing it on a car insurance commercial. The song holds so much meaning and truth. Though it is about feeling shame and guilt after cheating on the one you love, I still love it. I love it because I deeply feel that people should make aware that for those who got cheated on, it hurts. It can’t keep happening and the person bursts out saying, “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m only human.”

    Oh, another thing, I didn’t know Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis  wrote and produced this song. I love the duo!

    I'm only human.. | Inspirational quotes, Im only human, Quotes

     

     

    LYRICS:

    [Verse 1:]
    Come on, baby, dry your eyes
    Wipe your tears
    Never like to see you cry
    Won’t you please forgive me
    I wouldn’t ever try to hurt you
    I just needed someone to hold me
    To fill the void while you were gone
    To fill this space of emptiness

    [Chorus:]
    I’m only human
    Of flesh and blood I’m made
    Human
    Born to make mistakes

    [Verse 2:]
    So many nights I longed to hold you
    So many times I looked and saw your face
    Nothing could change the way I feel
    No one else could ever take your place

    [Chorus:]
    I’m only human
    Of flesh and blood I’m made
    Human
    Born to make mistakes
    (I am just a man) Human
    (Human) Please forgive me

    [Interlude:]
    The tears I cry aren’t tears of pain
    They’re all to hide my guilt and shame
    I forgive you, now I ask the same of you
    While we were apart, I was human too[Chorus:]
    (Human
    Human)
    I’m only human
    Of flesh and blood I’m made (I am just a man)
    Human
    Born to make mistakes[Outro]
    (Human
    Human)
    Songwriters: Terry Lewis / James (Jimmy Jam) Harris III
    Human lyrics © Emi April Music Inc., Flyte Tyme Tunes Inc., Kmr Music Royalties Ii Scsp
    Released Date: August 11, 1986
    What do you think about the phrase,”I’m only human.”? 

     

     

     

    #MusicMonday- Break Of Dawn #lovesongs


    Photo by: pixabay.com Edited by: Pamela Hester

    There have been too many times to count of myself laying back listening to music flowing through my headphones or earbuds over the years. It makes me feel like I have entered another dimension and there have been times when it took me back to that moment I first heard it.

    The majority of those songs are like an aphrodisiac that’ll have you in a hypnotic trance well past after it is over. Those songs along with the ones with the lyrics that are so beautiful and sensual, and tells a story where you can visualize them in your mind so vividly.

    This song, Break of Dawn, is one of those songs by Michael Jackson that I love intensely. It is a sexy and, oh…so, oh! It is about making love until it’s daylight. (Need I say more?) It would be nice to experience that, right, with the one who loves you? 😛

    Well, with making love and all that jazz aside, I hope you all enjoy the song and its lyrics. Let us know in the comments what you think, if you want to that is.

    Photo courtesy of: pinterest.com

    LYRICS:

    [Verse 1]
    Hold my hand, feel the touch of your body cling to mine
    You and me, making love all the way through another night
    I remember you and I walking through the park at night
    Kiss and touch, nothing much, let it blow just touch and go
    Love me more, never leave me alone by house of love
    People talk, people say what we have is just a game
    Oh, I’ll never let you go, come here girl
    Just got to make sweet love ‘til the break of dawn

    [Chorus]
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love

    [Verse 2]
    Hold my hand, feel the sweat, yes you’ve got me nervous yet
    Let me groove, let me soothe, let me take you on a cruise
    There’s imagination I bet you’ve never been there before
    Have you ever wanted to dream about those places you’ve never known

    (Break of dawn, break of dawn) there’s no sun up in the sky
    (Break of dawn, break of dawn) I can see it in your eyes
    (Break of dawn, break of dawn) girl you got to understand
    It’s the way that I love you, let me show you I’m your man
    Break of dawn

    [Chorus]
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love

    [Verse 3]
    Let’s not wait, the sun is out, let’s get up and let’s get out
    It’s the day, a brand new day, let’s both go outside and play
    Let us walk down the park, making love ‘til it’s dark
    Let me move, let me soothe, ‘til the break of dawn and you know it’s true, oh

    [Chorus]
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love
    I don’t want the sun to shine I want to make love
    Just this magic in your eyes and in my heart
    I don’t know what I’m going to do – I can’t stop loving you
    I won’t stop ‘til break of dawn making love
    Break it down

    Lyrics Source: Genius.com

    Songwriters: Michael Jackson/ Elliot Straite
    Break of Dawn lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, MJJ Productions
    Release Date: October 30, 2001