What I Have Been Up To


Good morning/afternoon, everyone! I know it has been a little over a month since my last post, but a lot has happened.


For one, I have officially moved into my own place since the end of May. Yep! And it is my first time ever. I am proud of myself for making that move, literally and figuratively. Though others aren’t happy about it at all, I still have to keep going and do what is best for me.


Although most of you may have remembered the things I have gone through in the past that had left me depressed and feeling like my life couldn’t get any worse. I have suffered from all kinds of abuse, and it has gotten me to the point where not only had I lost my identity but my self-respect. I am grateful for being alive and now doing well- mentally, physically; you name it. But, I still have some ways to go. I’m not finishing evolving.


I wanted to share more of my story in hopes it will help others, but like I’m still programmed to do- I’m a little apprehensive of the ones who know me personally in real life who may have something negative to say. Or give their own unnecessary opinions. And worse, the ones who feel it’s their right to gossip to others wanting to make matters worse. The latter is one of the many reasons why I kept some things to myself. Because, even if I feel I could open up to some of you who are caring and understanding, there is a possibility my posts—whether blog posts and social media posts—could fall under the wrong person’s eyes. (I also know that some things you just don’t share, period.)


Then again, I have told myself that I have to STOP the damn people-pleasing because it had gotten me NOwhere at all. There are people who may claim they know you because they are your family member, went to high school or church with you back in the day, or what have you, and don’t know you at all. Most will believe that just because you don’t mention you are going through something, it must not happen to you.


Anyway, I have been going to therapy since 2018; well, I have gone back during that time and still keeping my sessions to this day. It’s something I haven’t mentioned to anyone except my daughter and mom, and therapy has helped me tremendously.


I have learned that to practice self-love, self-respect, and self-care, I have to examine and reexamine my life. The good and bad. And change whatever in my life that is not helping me to move forward positively and productively. I used to look back to the past because of the things that happened; the whys and what-ifs. So whenever I would occasionally look back, it’s to see how far I have come and to learn as much as possible so I won’t make those same mistakes. And to look out for any repeats and red flags.

I won’t crowd everything in today’s post because it will be too long to read. (I will do more posts.) I just want you all to know that I am okay. I had a “scare for my life” thing that happened some weeks ago. Some people refused to let something or someone go because they are stuck on some warped fantasy that you will never leave. Or that that something will get better. Unfortunately, there are people who are only happy if things are going ONLY their way, and that includes your life and everything pertaining you.

In other news, before I go, while brainstorming other stories, I ended up going back to my novel, Secrets Unveil, and I had officially completed it. I am moving towards a professional editor after I finish more self-edits. I’m reworking my Secrets Series page and working on a newsletter and will let you know how that is coming along in the upcoming weeks.


I appreciate you and grateful for you all for hanging in there with me.

Thank you, and I wish everyone the best in life and all their endeavors.

Love,

Pamela

For more information regarding abuse, visit this website here.

March Writing Challenge- Day 6: What Are You Freakishly Good At?


Photo by Mark Cruzat from Pexels

I believe I am freakishly good at procrastinating. Yeah. There have been projects and writings I have been working on that I have started either years ago or several months ago. I don’t mean to be so good at procrastinating, but I’ve been hoping it would be something I can change because things need to get done. It’s not so much as laziness though I would start something else new. Sometimes, if I lose interest or decided to come back to it later, I would start that new thing and/or take so long to come back to what I was working on.

Another thing I am freakishly good at is reading. Yeah, I know. You might be asking how can I be that good at that. Well, let me tell you. Since a little girl, I would go through boxes and bags of books and magazines and encyclopedias in a week or less (depends on life). I never skimmed through them, I actually read all of them. I remember receiving those Highlights magazines for kids, encyclopedias for kids, and Disney books in the mail and how I would read in rapid speed for so many (I forgot the number) in one weekend and can recite what was either written or give a break-down of my own about what I’ve read.

Since then, my parents would have more books and magazines come in the mail. And I would also skip to the school and town’s library ready for the next book adventure.

Now, I’m still that way, and I feel like now I have to read slowly because I don’t want the book to end. I want to savor the time spent with the characters and go on that literature journey with them.

I am also doing another book challenge on Goodreads this year where I’ll read 50 books this year. I’m at 15 books read so far. I will share the books I’ve read once I finish the challenge. Some days, I have to find time to read books when work and life get in the way when I just want to read.

I may procrastinate like crazy, but not so much when it comes to reading.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you haven’t already, head over to Marquessa’s blog for the 31 Questions March Writing Challenge if you like to join us.

Mixed Emotions On A Long Stretch of Road


From my Instagram page.

The mixed emotions I felt heading to a destination known and unknown set a rocky motion of fear and confusion inside me. My heart raced after each mile completed, which set a bundle of nerves taking over me. I fought to keep my breathing in control and my skin felt clammy. I knew that I was getting closer whether I was ready or not.

Photo courtesy of pixabay.com

Happy Memories and Twinkly Lights


From my Instagram post.

I walked along the boardwalk feeling the cool breeze of the night air sweeping across my face. I glanced up at the millions of stars twinkling in the vast sky. My heart filled with admiration as we moved to the beat of the new reggae song, watching the many stars, and eating citrus fruits.

— Part of the #writethemoon challenge on Instagram I had written. August 2020

April Writing Challenge- Day 15: What My Day Looks Like


Photo courtesy by Glenn Carstens-Peters on unsplash.com

I believe today’s post is going to be short compared to yesterday since the challenge for today is about me bullet-point my whole day. Yikes! Anyway, how are you all doing? I hope you are doing well.

In my typical day, there isn’t anything much exciting to say, not even before this pandemic. It’s not by choice how my life was before and is now; however, it is something I am working on changing. You see, I want to be someone who is living life on my terms, not being alive on someone else’s.

My day usually looks like this:

Monday- Friday

  • Wake up at 7:30 am- Meditate or do another spiritual ritual to prepare my mind for the day. (Before this pandemic, I would get up around 5:45 am to get my child ready for school.)
  • 8:00 am- 9:15 am- Do regular morning rituals. On some days, I will also go for a morning walk.
  • 9:15 am- Cook breakfast.
  • Around 10 am after washing dishes, I begin working on a side job I have while my daughter does her school work at the table.
  • 10 am to 12 pm- Work on side job, which can be done mobile also while tending to other things around the home. I tend to have a habit of multi-tasking most times.
  • 12 pm to 1 pm- Do housework. (Sometimes I may alternate the times for the side job and housework since I try not to do the exact same thing every day at the exact time.)
  • 1 pm to 3:30 pm- I don’t really know what I’m doing during these times, it’s a whatever I may feel like doing, like: watch a movie, write, blog, think about what I would like to do, check social media, do visualization, etc. (Sometimes doing these things may happen other times and multiple times a day.)
  • 3:30 pm to 5 pm- Not much of anything, probably more of the step above.
  • 5 pm to 7 pm- Watch the news, cook dinner or watch someone else do it, read and… something.
  • 7 pm to 8 pm- Watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
  • 8 pm to 10 pm- Watch movies. During this time and some other times above, I will write, read, blog repeat. Yes, all while watching a movie. If the movie is really good and/or requires my full attention I would wait until it is over to do those things.
  • 10 pm to 11 pm- I don’t know what I’m doing but just catching up on what’s is on TV.
  • 11 pm to 12 midnight- During these times, I am asleep, or about to go to sleep. If not, then I am in bed watching Youtube videos. I love Youtube!

That pretty much sums up the weekday. Saturday and Sunday I am doing more work with my side job and doing housework. I read blogs, read something else, watch Disney Plus, Netflix, and anything else on Roku. The times vary and I seriously can’t bullet-point the days because what I am doing changed up a lot.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I start a new job working at home (apart from the side job) today. So my day-to-day schedule will start to change. My work hours will be something from 11 am to 7:30 pm with this new job. Training starts tomorrow, orientation today so my dull days will change up some. After training, I have no idea what my days and evenings will look like; they may end up changing the hours. Though I’ll have to tell you, I will be glad when I can enjoy having my days looking better, but I am not going to complain.

Well, this is my bullet-point days and nights. It sounds boring now and not my cup of tea but it is what it is now.

I hope you all have enjoyed my mundane day-to-day life. 🙂 I hope you do something that interests you and enjoy life your way and on your terms. Thank you for reading.

Stay tuned for Day 16.