Give More Love, Have Less Hate


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First off, let me say that I am NOT men-bashing or criticizing others. I’m merely sharing my opinions and experiences on the topic. Also, feel free to share your thoughts and feelings on the subject.

Lately, I have came to the conclusion to make a drastic change in my life. I have no qualms about it, but hopes that it carry on without any setbacks. No disappointments or negativity.

When you have to question yourself repeatedly whether someone cares about you or even love you; and that aren’t showing you in the fashion they are supposed to, you have to absolutely no choice but to move on. It’s like that saying goes, “you can’t make someone love you.” It’s true.

I am always seeking ways to better myself- career wise and personal. But, I’ll be damn if I’m going to change for someone who can care less if you are breathing or not.

You see, when I first started this blog four years-off and on mind you, it was to help others in the matters of love and relationships (mostly). I found out a couple of years ago that I been neglecting myself and my self-esteem went kaput. I had stayed and dealt with the controlling, abuse, the drama for my daughter. But, it’s more damaging staying than just leaving. In fact, leaving is always better said than done.

I feel that if there’s no real love that is truly, madly, and deeply and you are willing to make it work without the disrespect, miscommunication, and the unnecessary stress, you should just call it quits. Especially if years of the same thing have went by!

People play games-no, coming from where I am, men play games. They can be in their thirties even forties and can tell you what they really want out of life and will string you along within their web of lies and deceit.

Most women go through a lot because we believe the men lies. Or think their controlling, stalking ways is he loving you. No. Nowadays, it takes nearly a year to get to know a person, but, what kind of time do you have? The kind that will protect your heart from- EVERYTHING.

There are people who are searching for something real and wanting to make it work, but you just can’t toy with their feelings.

Feeling are hurt

Spirit is broken

Mind wondering what did I do to deserve this

Wanting to leave but you won’t allow it only when you say so

My mental health is a joke to you

But I will remain strong and move onward without you

To everyone else: any kind of abuse is a dangerous thing and you can not let anyone take you to down that path of destruction.

You are strong. You are beautiful. You will make it out. 

Love, 

Pamela 💖

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A Poem For Our Girls


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Today’s post is for we women and for our little women. I’d found this poem on Klout while searching through articles where you can add your input to them and share with others.

This beautifully written poem is by a female, of course, and speaks about how females are to be strong and not to let “the world” take away your innocence, your heart, that sacredness that belongs to you.

I see this as a poem I will someday read to my daughter as she gets older. It’s a poem is for we women to instilled within ourselves and to pass onto the females in our life.

Even though this a post for females, men are welcome- to passed this poem on as well to the females in their lives.

**To my beautiful women (and young girls) be strong. Be empowered and know your self-worth. I love you all! 💖💖


 

You Are Daughters Of The Sun

Girl,
you were born with a fire inside you,

and this world is determined to stamp it out.

You will see it when you stand up for yourself
and you are told how arrogant you are amongst your sex

because ‘it isn’t ladylike to raise your voice.’

(Speak louder when they say things like that to you.
Let them see how quick a single flame can take hold of an entire forest)

You will hear it when you wear something that hugs your body
and feel the uncomfortable sensation of being stripped naked

by the eyes of men who call you names you are still too young to understand.

(One day these same men will have daughters
with fire spines like yours who will make them understand)

You will know it when a man tries to use his strength
to have his way with you the first time, and no isn’t good enough, so you need to use your fists/teeth/legs to get him off.

(What did he think would happen if he manhandled flames? His burnt fingers are his own fault, not yours.)

You will feel it when you see
your mothers eyes filled with terror

because you are two hours later than you said you will be home.

(She understand so well how dangerous it is to carry a soul made from a firestorm in this broken world.)

You must understand: they fear you.
There is nothing scarier in their minds

than a girl who knows the power of her flames.

Your passion is terrifying,
your beauty isn’t pretty

it is unashamed,

determinedly uncaged

and so honest and wild

that they can only think of ways

to either own that fire

or try their damnedest to stamp it out.
But you must never ever let them take

those flames from within your soul,

Instead, you must burn brighter than ever

because you are a daughter of the Sun,

And you belong only to yourself, not to this world.

—Poem by Nikita Gill from Thought Catalog

Writing Challenge (Day 30) What Excites Me 


Ah! Today is the last day for this challenge and I had quite an experience. I was able to share life experiences, give you a glimpse through the window of my soul, (as so it seems), while learning a few things from you all.

One more time, today I want to share what excites me, and below I want you to comment on what excites you; what ever it may be.

 What excites me is love. A love for another is beautiful. In this day and age we need love more than ever. What excites me about love, all types of love, is the will to do for others before yourself. Or to start the day off with a person(s) in mind and you won’t let the day go by without sending some love their way in person or cyberspace. It’s exhilarating!

Whether it’s love for a spouse/significant other, or a love for a friend/author/blogger, we express love to the highest altitude.

I love to witness love being interacted between others. Although, and some of you may have heard me say this, I haven’t received love of this degree in a relationship. Sometimes you just want to be there for someone and do for them, but it’s disheartening when they take you for granted. I can experience love, madly, deeply, and truly in my characters and know it exists. It comes from somewhere deep inside and what I wanted in life, I’ll witnessed in others.

A passionate kiss, a heartfelt hug, and a simple “just checking up on you”, can go a long way. It doesn’t always have to be anything major, at least not all the time.

I truly believe the love I give and receive from friends and people I’m getting to know or barely know is undeniably astounding. Sometimes we just want what we never had, but I’ve learned that it begins with YOURSELF.

I’m learning to experience self-love. Love begins with what’s inside you. Whatever 2016 may bring, I hope that at some point I learned further to connect with myself spiritually, get to know who Pamela(me) is. I’ve lost who I was down the line. And, furthermore, to love myself unconditionally (single).

Love is kind and gentle. It’s patient and it is self-sacrificing. That what excites me- love. What excites you? I would love to hear it.

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Three-Day Quote Challenge (Day 3)


I have struggled with insecurity all my life and even in my thirties, I still have this problem. Not so much so as before, but I like I mentioned the other day about flaws, I want to love myself, flaws and all.

With this quote challenge, much thanks to Dr. Meg at Dr. Meg- writes better than she dresses, I have learned many things.

But, before I go off topic, I want to stay on the subject at hand. If you’re an Instagram viewer more than a poster like myself, you can get a glimpse on the inside of someone’s world through their photos.

Although, and one had reminded me, Instagram isn’t real life. No one wakes up instantly doll up, gorgeous, or camera ready. I would bite my lip as I viewed in on their photos. Sometimes, I want to comment and say, “show me exactly how you look”.

Why do I even care anyway? I would compared my mundane life to theirs, thinking their life is much more better, more fun than mines. Then I realized, I don’t even like posing for the camera. I don’t wear makeup much cause half of the time, I sucked at applying it on. And, I don’t like being put on display. So, what’s my problem?

  My problem is that with there being more women existing in this world than men, I feel like I have to compete. Something I don’t think no woman should EVER have to do.
But, with me I’d compared myself over and over because in retrospect, I been let down. Every other guy would say you’re pretty or whatever, but turn around while you’re in a relationship together peeping the next woman. It left you wondering what do she have that I don’t have? Am I not good enough?

Wake up everyday whether you’re pleased with what you see in the mirror or not, and love the person looking back. Have confidence in yourself.

Writing Challenge (Day 5) A Place I Would Like to Live…


 

The Devon House
The Devon House

For Day 5 in this writing challenge, I am to write about a place I want to to live but never visit. Ahh, the  Caribbean island. The tropical atmosphere, the people, blue-green  waters, you name it.

There’s something relaxing and serene about staring off into the ocean. To me, it’s like a detoxification for the soul. People spoke on the calmness they would  feel while vacationing there. Every single one mentioned they would stay if they could.

I, myself just want to put on a bikini (with a sarong), sip something with less alcohol, and let the gentle breeze take my mind away. But not exactly, I may need it for later time. Never been a party animal, but I love to dance. They have parties that last all night into the wee hours in the mornings.

A previous post I’ve recently blogged about was dedicated to a male character of mines named Trenton Devereaux. You can read it here.

Below are pictures that piqued my interest. It is truly a beautiful place to be, to live. Oh, did I mentioned the men are unbelievable! (I fought with myself to upload pictures of them. Next time.)