Love: To Be or Not to Be


What’s the definition of love? Love is an emotion and a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  I may or may not truly know what it “feels” like, but I have learned to love who I am. Because self-love feels good and who can love you better than you love yourself.

There may be people who may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Some will love you only if you are doing things for them. And some just may be genuine.

Let’s talk about relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing.

To be love can take on something so extraordinary.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy, compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree with that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationship, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance, but is that all? I have known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I have always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may have become bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe.

Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable, and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. Okay. I won’t go into details-you get the picture. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.

Empathy, love, trust, compassion, growth, appreciation, etc are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that’s all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you.

To not be love or loving, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matter to you. Either, you have been hurt, emotionally damaged, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. Perhaps, love isn’t something you seek, like, or want.

For me, I rather give myself time and just do whatever makes me happy. I have gone through where people have shown their true colors and lost my trust. Hurt, betrayal, and lies come to mind. It is better to focus on the betterment of your life and growth than to wait on that fairy tale Prince Charming that’s coming to save you-or not.

It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself that time. It’s worth it. Trust me, I know.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

 

intimacya feeling of being intimate and belonging togetherMore (Definitions, Synonyms, Translation)

#MusicMonday- Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely


Photo by: pixabay.com Edited by: Pamela Hester

There is a lot of us who had gone through a breakup at least once in our lives. It hurts so much and it leaves us questioning life and why things have to be that make you hurt so much.

I’ve picked the song, Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely for today’s #MusicMonday for that reason. And that is because it talks about how and when someone we love is no longer in our lives it makes us feel lonely. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is normal to feel that way, but not when you allow it to become part of your life where you’re shutting out the world and people who care about you. And doing so long-term.

It’s the heartache from a person who had physically left your life in a way that they would not be coming back- unless in the spirit form. I was 19 years old when my dad had passed away. I had experienced the worst heartbreak in my life because I know he is not going to come back. It is a sad discovery to know that a person you are so close to had been taken from your life so soon and without warning. Even though I had people around me, I still felt lonely and there are times where I would cry out to him in hopes that he could possibly hear me.

24 Comforting Loss of Mother Quotes - Quotes to Remember Moms Who Passed  Away

You see, the same weekend he passed away, I was to go live with him. Upon having my bags getting ready to be packed, I couldn’t get in touch with him to find out the exact day and time he wanted me to come over there. I didn’t know until later that he had died- alone on the living room floor all that time. Same year, my cousin (his niece) died in a car accident. Fast forward, more people I wished I could have given another time to chat with them had passed away.

This song by the Backstreet Boys have always been my all-time favorite song. I have such an emotional connection to this song and so does a lot others I’m sure. The video is so touching and such a tearjerker when watching it. There’s a message in the opening that said:

“This video is dedicated to Denniz POP, and to all those who have lost a loved one.”

Nick Carter, the band member said he had paid homage to Denniz POP in the video, and AJ had dedicated this song to a dear female friend who had passed away in a car accident.

Quotes When Someone Passes Away. QuotesGram

I won’t make this long and I’m not intentionally trying to make anyone feel sad, but sometimes (or oftentimes) we must think about the ones who had passed on and feel the emotions coursing through our body. It is okay to feel and say that you miss and love them. You are human. It is okay to take a few moments to think about the person and keep the memories of them alive.

It’s okay to say you are hurting and feel lonely, but don’t be alone. There are so many people who are going through what you are going through and you should know that it is okay to reach out and/or seek whatever therapy you may need.

LYRICS:

Intro:
Show me the meaning of being lonely

Verse 1:
So many words for the broken heart
It is hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Chorus:
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are?
There is something missing in my heart

Verse 2:
Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze, if only
Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love)
There is no control, are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Chorus:
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with (tell me why)
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are?
There is something missing in my heart (heart!)

Bridge:
There is nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body, and soul
How can it be you are asking me
To feel the things you never show?
(Show-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh!)

Interlude:
You are missing in my heart
Tell me why can’t I be there where you are?

Chorus:
Show me the meaning of being lonely (being lonely)
Is this the feeling I need to walk with (tell me why)
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are? (where you are)
There is something missing in my heart
(You are missing from my heart)
Show me the meaning of being lonely (being lonely)
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I cannot be there where you are? (where you are)
There is something missing in my heart

Lyrics Source: Genius.com

Songwriters: Herbert St Clair Crichlow / Martin Max
Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc
Release Date: December 21, 1999

What are your thoughts about this? Have you ever experienced feeling this type of loneliness?

A Poem Of The Wonder Of These Beings | Sacred Dreams #Poetry


Good morning /afternoon everyone! I apologize to those who wasn’t able to view the poem in the WordPress reader and/or on the reader website yesterday.

It seems like it was only able to be viewed when on the WordPress site or clicking on the link to view in webpage. My apologies. So, I decided to just repost it but without embedding the Facebook link I got it from, and delete the one from yesterday.


Below is a poem from Sacred Dreams’ Facebook written by Cyrielle Soares. While pondering what I was going to do about my Facebook personal and writer’s pages, I came across this poem someone shared in a Twin Flames’ group I’m in and checked out the original post for the poem. It’s beautiful and speaks to the heart and soul. It really makes you think about certain types of beings that have come into your life over the years. 

* * * * * *

From Sacred Dreams

There are beings that satisfy you.
No not from their presence,
But of their simple existence.
There are people who sleep with you, never touch your sheets.
Just by their thoughts that accompany you.
There are some wonderful men.
Enchanting women.
Absolute beings.
There are people whose ease of penetrating you is magic.
They type your dreams like we would compose a piano melody.
They write words straight out of another world.
As if the world of the living does not have access to these magnificent words.
They perfume your tears of sense and forgiveness.
They inhabit your floors, your attics, your cellars and your attics, and illuminate them in the light of their hearts.
They travel under your skin making chills and bursts.
They rock your cravings like mornings that wake up slowly.
There are people who thrive with life.
Who draw words about minds.
Who soothe all evil.
Of those who heal, feel and pet.
Of those who upset our fragile balance.
Because they are free.
Because they love without waiting.
Because they are rare.
Magic or terrifying.
Like labyrinths where we get lost irreparably.
Where we are not looking for the exit.
Where certainties always fly in blast.
Where the abyss fixes our damaged sides.
These beings devoid of expectations that offer their absence like a tomb that we bloom from our imaginary sorrows.
They are beautiful.
Alive and dead.
They are forever.
In the form of friends, love or soulmate.
Call them what you want.
They line our lives with balms and honey.
I know that.
I’ve lived it.~

~Cyrielle Soares


What are your thoughts about this poem?

#MusicMonday- My Writing Love Playlist


    Photo by: pixabay.com
    Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. How are you today? Today for #MusicMonday, I am doing something a bit different. I would like to share with you a playlist I created called Writing Love. Sometimes when I am writing certain scenes, music plays its part in helping me to write them, and when it comes to the characters. It builds the mood for me as well. I am still putting together the playlist, but would still like to share the fifteen I currently have.

    Majority of these songs I have listened to while writing and editing the Secrets series novels. I won’t go in-depth about it in this post, but I’ll save it for another time. I believe songs can take a person to that level that they may have never been to before. And to a level that they may not have been to in a while.

    Also, the majority of these songs are based on my characters on how they feel about certain things, people, and themselves. The songs also tell its own story. They can be based on what my characters are going through as well.

    I truly believe that when you write, especially with fiction, you have to feel how the characters are feeling. Understand their thoughts, and so on. I can go on and on about music and writing- two of my favorite things- but it will take several days. Lol.

    To view all the songs, you can click the horizontal lines where it says, 1/15.

    Songs In Playlist:

    1) Bob Marley- Is This Love


    2) Frankie Valli- I Love You Baby

    “But if you feel like I feel,
    please let me know that it’s real
    You’re just too good to be true,
    can’t take my eyes off of you
    I love you baby and if it’s quite all right,
    I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
    I love you baby trust in me when I say”


    3) H.E.R.- Best Part

    “I just wanna see
    I just wanna see how beautiful you are
    You know that I see it
    I know you’re a star
    Where you go I follow
    No matter how far
    If life is a movie
    Oh you’re the best part, oh oh oh
    You’re the best part, oh oh oh
    Best part”


    4) Khalid- Talk

    “Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Talk about where we’re goin’
    Before we get lost
    Let me out first
    Can’t get what we want without knowin’
    I’ve never felt like this before
    I apologize if I’m movin’ too far
    Can’t we just talk?
    Can’t we just talk?
    Figure out where we’re goin'”


    5) Keyshia Cole- Heaven Sent


    6) Bonnie Raiit- Something To Talk About


    7) Chris Stapleton- Tennessee Whiskey

    “I’ve looked for love in all the same old places
    Found the bottom of a bottle’s always dry
    But when you poured out your heart I didn’t waste it
    ‘Cause there’s nothing like your love to get me high
    You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
    You’re as sweet as strawberry wine
    You’re as warm as a glass of brandy
    And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time”

    8) Selena- Dreaming Of You

    “Now I’m dreaming
    With you tonight
    ‘Till tomorrow
    And for all of my life
    And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    Dreaming with you endlessly
    With you tonight
    And there’s nowhere in the world where I’d rather be
    Than here in my room
    I’ll be dreaming
    Of you tonight
    And I’ll be holding you tight”


    9) Usher- Don’t Waste My Time


    10) Faith Hill- Breathe

    “‘Cause I can feel you breathe
    It’s washing over me
    And suddenly I’m melting into you
    There’s nothing left to prove
    Baby, all we need is just to be
    Caught up in the touch
    Slow and steady rush
    Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s suppose to be
    I can feel you breathe, just breathe”


    11) Anita Baker- Sweet Love

    “Sweet love hear me callin’ out your name
    I feel no shame; I’m in love
    Sweet love, don’t you ever go away
    It’ll always be this way
    There’s no stronger love in this world, Oh, baby, no
    You’re my man; I’m your girl
    I’ll never go. Wait and see, can’t be wrong”
    Don’t you know this is where you belong?

    12) Snoop Dogg- Sensual Seduction


    13) Tanto Metro & Devonte- Everyone Falls In Love


    14) Wale ft. Usher- Matrimony (Jerry Seinfield in the beginning talking)

    “If there’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it
    It don’t belong to anyone but you
    If there’s a question of my love, you’ve got it
    Baby don’t worry, I’ve got plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans, oh love
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you
    Baby, I’ve been making plans
    Baby, I’ve been making plans for you”


    15) Beyonce- Crazy In Love (remix)

    “I look and stare so deep in your eyes
    I touch on you more and more every time
    When you leave, I’m begging you not to go
    Call your name two, three times in a row
    Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
    How I’m feeling and my pride is the one to blame
    ‘Cause I know I don’t understand
    Just how your love can do what no one else can”

    Does songs play a part when it comes to your writing? Which ones?

    #MusicMonday- Just Like Animals


    Photo by: pixabay.com, Edited by: Pamela Hester

    I hope everyone has had a wonderful New Year, and that your weekend has went well.

    Close to the end of last summer, I had started #MusicMonday to blog about love songs that have meaning(s), purpose, etc. It was something that had popped into my head and I dwelled on it for a while before getting started, to be honest. I seriously didn’t know how long I was going to be doing this. The first three vertical posts you see below I was thinking about stopping, but as most of you know I kept going.

    These are the first 3 #MusicMonday posts I started with.

    Okay, I’m going off-course here. Today’s post is about how people take love to a level that is unhealthy or toxic for them. I know I have posts songs about being in love and such, but this time for the first Monday of the year, I want to hit on the subject of people who have those types of issues. Why? Because it is important. Some people have a strong attraction to others that they are having a hard time letting go of, especially when it is indeed over. Oftentimes, it can be a physical thing, like for instance: their looks, body, or sex with them.

    The guy, Adam Levine in the video called, Animals, is being a stalker and clearly obsessed with the woman who played by his real-life wife. We all know some people are like this in real life. The ones who won’t take no for an answer and will physically stalk and cyber-stalk you, and may even cause hell for you. And they will try to convince you that you may run but can’t hide from them. They may even tell you that they are and will always be the best person for you and no one else can compare to them.

    Maroon 5 animals maroon 5 GIF

    I’m telling you. There are people out there who are literally like animals (in a bad way), and you will have to be super careful with the ones who also use sex as a way to “keep” you. And, the ones who only wanted sex in the beginning and you, well, or the other person done caught feelings somewhere down the line may feel like they been taken advantage of.

    Okay. Enough of that for a moment; you get the point. I didn’t link the official video of this song by Maroon 5 because it is explicit in some sense. I had only stared at it, and some parts don’t bother me. However, some parts may be disturbing to some people, and I have to respect that or give you some type of warning. So, I just posted the audio to be on the safe side. I love the song, and I love Maroon 5’s songs. If you would like to watch the official video you can check it out here.

    ** Everyone, please be safe out there. Not just with this pandemic because you already know that, but with your heart and body.

    Love,

    Pamela

    LYRICS:

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 1]
    So what you trying to do to me? (Hey)
    It’s like we can’t stop, we’re enemies (Hey)
    But we get along when I’m inside you, yeah (Hey)
    You’re like a drug that’s killing me (Hey)
    I cut you out entirely (Hey)
    But I get so high when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be (Hey)
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m… (Hey)

    [Verse 2]
    So if I run, it’s not enough (Hey)
    You’re still in my head, forever stuck (Hey)
    So you can do what you wanna do, yeah (Hey)
    I love your lies, I’ll eat ’em up (Hey)
    But don’t deny the animal (Hey)
    That comes alive when I’m inside you

    [Pre-Chorus]
    Yeah, you can start over, you can run free (Hey)
    You can find other fish in the sea (Hey)
    You can pretend it’s meant to be
    But you can’t stay away from me
    I can still hear you making that sound (Hey)
    Taking me down, rolling on the ground (Hey)
    You can pretend that it was me, but no, oh (Hey)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Bridge]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yo-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals (Hey, hey)
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals, oww!
    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    [Chorus]
    Baby, I’m preying on you tonight
    Hunt you down, eat you alive
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Maybe you think that you can hide
    I can smell your scent from miles
    Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals
    Baby, I’m…

    [Outro]
    Don’t tell no lie, lie, lie, lie
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah
    No girl don’t lie, lie, lie, lie (No, no, don’t lie)
    You can’t deny-ny-ny-ny (You can’t deny)
    The beast inside, si-si-side
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    Lyrics Source: Genius.com

    Songwriters: Adam Levine / Shellback / Benjamin Levin Animals lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group, Downtown Music Publishing

    Label: Interscope Records

    Release Date: August 25, 2014

    What are your thoughts on this type of love for another?