No Matter What, Take Care Of You First


I have forgotten I had drafted this post until I read a fellow blogger’s post that reminded me about it.

Hi all! I sometimes wonder why things happen the way they do and why some things happen at all that puzzle me.

I have spent the majority of August constantly sick from something. In July, I had gotten my first Covid vaccine. But, my sickness had nothing to do with the vaccine. A sore arm is the only thing resulting from that. 🙂

When August came, I felt fine then a few days into the month, I started going through my monthly cycle. But as the week carried on and another week came in, I noticed how weak I was becoming. The problem came and gone, and came back.

The things women go through health-wise and having other life problems were weighing on me hard. I went to the doctor and was put on antibiotics. It took care of the problem, but the side effects constantly made me sick from mid-month to close to the end of the month. (Sighs.)

As my body went through it all and I thought I can go back feeling like myself, my allergies got so bad I thought I had a bad cold. I felt miserable, but I didn’t go to urgent care or anything, because the side effects from the antibiotics were too much for me. And I didn’t want to put on anything. So, I ended up taking the natural approach.

I hated that not only being sick, people were also constantly stressing me about something, laid off from my job, and having to find another one, I had to still find something to keep my spirits up. To do something. I feel fine now since a week ago. And I went back for my second vax.

And I hate having to be on blood pressure meds and the new brand makes me dizzy just like the last one. I dislike my soon-to-be-former doctor because she doesn’t do her job well with me, and I have to wait for my appointment with the new doctor. (Okay sighing again.)

I’m saying that, no matter what comes your way, you still have to keep moving forward. Things seem to happen for a reason or to screw with your nerves and aggravate you.

The things that helped a lot for me getting through last month and the first week of this month was reading and more reading, writing and listening to music. I just finally started back dancing, in my own space, and it feels good. I gave it a yoga vibe.

I feel like when I take a more natural approach, my body bounced back better. There also don’t seem to be many side effects or lack thereof when going natural. I understand sometimes some doctors do their job, but the downsize from the others is how the patients are affected. I still have some health issues that I feel like I am suffering from because my soon-to-be-former doctor hasn’t taken care of my health problems. So as I should, I decided to do more than I have before, and not just go by what the doctor says when they aren’t doing their job anyway.

Okay, I’m ranting. I’m not saying not to see a doctor because you should, especially if you need to because some doctors are good doctors.

You only have one body. One life. You have to take care of yourself no matter what, and do what works for you.

Talk to you soon. Take care.

In All That You Do, Live In Love


It may seem hard to live in positivity with all the negatives in the world. Stay strong, rise above it all, and know that none of those negatives can bring you down. You got this because you are the co-creator of your own life. Know that God and the Universe has your back.

Whatever you do, most of all, live in love.

Be blessed.

Can One Truly Say Goodbye?


Courtesy by: Choschos on pixabay.com

When I think about the title of this post, Boys To Men’s song, It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye comes to mind. (You can listen to it here.)

Earlier this year, a cousin of mines had passed away. I didn’t found out until after they had a memorial service for him. He was missing for weeks before his body was found. Though I was over 14 years older than him, we know of each other, just not that well. And we weren’t raised up around each other either. Still, it is sad to know he had died the way he did. And he was so young.

This past Monday, another cousin of mines passed away. She was an elderly woman. I didn’t even know she was so sick and constantly hospitalized.

That side of the family, several of them, I don’t talk to because of what happened in my past because of them. So, though I had forgiven them for my own sake so I can heal and move on, I don’t have to go around them nor communicate. 

When I was told this Monday evening about her passing, I was shocked, and I didn’t know how I feel about it. I still don’t.

When I was a teenager, my life was in chaos, and though I won’t go into details about all the things I was put through (and my siblings), I want to let known that it is difficult when someone who caused you great pain, turmoil, and abuse turned out to be sick for so long and then passed away. I always wanted to sit down and talk with her when I became an adult, but I also wanted to stay clear of her. She was the reason for a lot of things going wrong in my youth. I wanted to know why she took us in and was supposed to care for us but treated us the way she did. And allow others to do it too.

Like, on many occasions, no matter how many times my dad (who died back in 2003) fought hard for his children to get us back, she and other members lied and schemed and did what they could to keep him away or else. It was so devastating, and I grew up with hatred in my heart for EVERYthing that happened under her watch for not only to me but also to my siblings.

I just wanted to get that out of my system in words. Sometimes, you look for the good amidst the bad, but the bad is overcrowding the good. Things happened for reasons unknown at times, and it can be frustrating trying to find out the whys, what-ifs, and hows to a situation when you are a teenager going through life changes. And dealing with people who are mean and so…

Okay…I told myself not to get into these things, but as of now, I find myself taking my days as I usually would upon hearing about her death. That brush, or more like an ambush of memories, came and is slowly fading. A few years ago, I had to do a ritual to let go of the past. It’s okay to think about things sometimes, to look back at how far you have come, but it is not good to dwell on the things that are negative and toxic. I had learned to let go and work on my mental health and not associate myself with certain people. And to do better in life for me, but also for my child.

That ritual I did, I had written pages of everything and everyone who had done something to me, and what happened to me. I went back to when I was a little girl and stopped at the age I was when I started the ritual. It took me the entire weekend to write what had seemed to be eight pages. I poured out every emotion. All the hurt, pain, anger, you named it and wrote it all down. Every single thing and every person, I wrote it down. I ended it with myself for being hard on myself and putting myself down. For allowing myself to go through the things, I took myself through and allowing those things to happen that shouldn’t, and not allowing myself to speak up when needed. Finally, I walked somewhere and burned the pages and said, “I release everything and everyone that had ever treated me and done me wrong. Every bad, cruel, and evilness. I release them from my mind, heart, and spirit.”

With people, our past selves, and whatever else, can one truly say goodbye? Sometimes with some people, like my dad, it took over a decade for me to come to terms with his passing. And to realize he’s really not coming back, at least not in the flesh. So, I feel like a person can say goodbye to someone who had passed on, in their own time, because everyone is different. I supposed it also depends on the person’s relationship with the person who had passed on when they were alive. And also, whether or not it was on good terms if that person wants to say goodbye. Perhaps some people want closure.

My cousin who passed this week, I am not sure when that is, and as I mentioned above, I won’t go into the details but, I had to get that out of my system and write whatever else I may be feeling on a sheet of paper, or whenever that “feeling” may come and write it and burn it. 

I don’t want to be numb.

The candles burning in the video is my way of virtually burning candles for someone who had a loved one who had passed away. Emotions are real, and so is grief. And I wish you nothing but strength, love, and healing.

Stay bless, 

Pamela

PressThis: How To Sell Your Book On Amazon [70 Book Marketing Tips] #MondayBlogs #SelfPublishing


Good morning/afternoon, everyone! I hope your weekend went well. I had spent it mostly reading and writing…oh yeah, daydreaming a little. Lol.
I would like to share with you an article about how you can sell your book on Amazon, which you can use other self-publishing services as well.
When it comes to self-publishing, I have learned that marketing is as hard as writing a novel. Although, perhaps writing the book is easier than marketing.
Wherever you are in your self-publishing journey, or if you are thinking about doing so, consider learning as much as you can. Marketing is the most crucial part of self-publishing there’s no avoiding it.

This article has a lot of helpful information and videos resources you can use along with 70 tips, and I hope it helps you. 

P.S. Also, if you haven’t already, do subscribe to my newsletter to get updates on my novel, Secrets Unveil, cover reveals, excerpts, and more, by clicking here.


If you’ve written something the world needs to read, you’re likely wondering how to sell your book on Amazon. Here are the best book marketing tips available.

#1 Collect an Email List

One of the easiest ways to build a platform is to compile an email list of readers and authors interested in what you have to say.

Perhaps you have an author website, a WordPress blog, a YouTube channel — whatever it is, you should be pushing your email list like it’s your number one marketing service.

On this email list, provide value. People will unsubscribe if your email marketing is too spammy or unhelpful. Give your readers book recommendations, tips on how to start writing a book, or a handy list of marketing tips.

#2 Utilize the Best Email Service

What is the best email service for authors? The absolute best email service for authors to use is GetResponse or MailerLite. Both offer authors a great way to communicate with their readers in effective and easy-to-understand ways.

Check out this MailerLite for Authors Course or my side-by-side review of Aweber vs. Mailchimp vs. GetResponse.

#3 Convince Your Email List to Leave Reviews

When you do publish a book, you should mention your new book in every email to your subscribers.

Whether it’s at the bottom or at the top of the email, let your readers know you have a book they can buy. Also, convince your email list to leave you reviews. If they subscribed to your messages, they are more likely to not only buy your book, but leave you a positive review.

Read more in my article on How to Get Your Email Subscribers to Leave Quality Reviews.

#4 Use Email Surveys to Sell More Books

This is a fun trick I learned from Brandon Cullum. Ask your growing email list to take surveys that make it feel like they’re helping you write your book.

When you publish the book, they feel like they contributed, making them more likely to buy the book and hopefully leave some good reviews.

Learn more: How to Use Surveys to Sell More Books by Brandon Cullum.

#5 Gather a Book Launch Team

Gather friends, family, colleagues, etc. to form a book launch team. Particularly for self-publishers, this group is crucial for author support, early book reviews, and word of mouth.

Some on your team will do this because they love you. Others may need an incentive, like a giveaway or premium content from your website or email list.

Read more in our comprehensive article: How to Build a Launch Team for Your Book

How do I market my book to my friends and family? A great way to market your book to friends and family is to include them in the marketing process. Many friends and family will be thrilled to take part in your launch strategy.

#6 Optimize Title & Subtitle

You need to optimize your title and subtitle for Amazon’s and Google’s search engines. Every genre has unique keywords that readers look for — even subconsciously.

For romance, “heart” and “passion” are great words to include in titles and subtitles.

For sci-fi, “star” and “planet” are common words that attract potential readers.

For self-help, “how to” and “definitive guide” will key the right reader in on your book’s topic.

Have you checked out our article on the Best Book Title Generators?

#7 Choose the Right Kindle Keywords

Every author has to choose the right Kindle keywords because it’s how Amazon decides which search terms they should put you in the search results.

Amazon lets you add 7 keywords to your book. Use keywords that readers are searching, that shoppers will pay for, and that doesn’t pose much competition.

What is the best way to promote a book? The best way to promote a book on Amazon is using targeted Amazon ads that capitalize on your keyword strategy. Another great promotion tactic is to build an author platform over the course of several years.

#8 Hire a Cover Designer

Especially for first-time authors, your book cover is your number one marketing tool. A professional-looking cover makes readers think that your book is generally high-quality. If you’re looking to draw readers in, an intriguing cover makes readers want to know more.

I implore you to hire a professional cover designer, such as:

If you really want to create your own cover, Kindlepreneur has a great mastery guide on Book Cover Design. It’s totally free to read! Additionally, check out Derek Murphy’s in-depth DIY Book Covers software and training.

#9 Nail Your Social Media

How do I market my book on social media? You need to market your book on social media in order to increase impressions, engagement, reader base, and other factors that can sell books.

For most self-publishers, I recommend setting up a professional author page on Facebook, maintaining a presence on Goodreads, logging onto LinkedIn, and creating video content on YouTube if possible.

I’ll go into more detail on individual social media platforms below. Stay tuned!

#10 Beseech High-Quality Book Reviewers

High-quality book reviews can get your book in front of a lot of new eyes. Readers gain a special connection with reviewers they trust. A word from these high-quality book reviewers can influence all their loyal listeners.

That’s why I wrote an article on How to Get Free Book Reviews Without Having a Blog, Email List, or Begging.

Check out Kindlepreneur’s list of Best Book Review Blogs.

#11 Skip Pre-Orders (Most of the Time)

While there are some benefits to pre-ordering, I recommend most self-publishing authors avoid the downsides of pre-ordering.

When you open your book up for pre-orders, Amazon penalizes you if your pre-sales don’t perform well. After publishing, Amazon rewards you if your sales are consistent by promoting your book closer to the top of ranking.

However, IF you have a large following or can market consistently during the preorder period, then by all means go right ahead.

Watch this video to learn all the reasons I say don’t do pre-orders unless you’re famous or already have a substantial following.

#12 Thrive With Publisher Rocket

Formerly known as KDP Rocket, Publisher Rocket can help authors with the marketing of their book or eBook. The 4 things Publisher Rocket can do for you:

  1. Find the best categories for your book
  2. Create efficient, effective Amazon ads for your use
  3. Show you what popular authors are doing, how much they’re earning, and much more
  4. Help your book get discovered by more Amazon customers

There are many more benefits to Publisher Rocket, but you can read more about it in my in-depth review: Publisher Rocket Review (2021).

#13 Set Up an Author Website

You have to set up a high-quality author website to funnel readers from retailer and social media platforms to one focused destination.

On your website, you should have books available for purchase, upcoming books announced, a riveting About the Author page, and preferably some well-written blog content to offer potential readers added value.Want people to understand who you are and what you do as an author? Build a killer author website.CLICK TO TWEET

Check out this awesome read: 5 Ways to Sell Your Book on Your Own Author Website.

#14 Use Consistent Branding

Across all social media platforms, your website, and even in-person appearances, I recommend using the same author logo, the same description of your book, and even the same signature.

Inconsistent branding can be confusing to potential readers.

Consistent branding makes a lasting impression on potential readers.

Make sure every platform you’re on features links to buy your book. Buy buttons should pop up everywhere.

Of course, you don’t want to overwhelm potential buyers. But you’d hate for a reader to be interested in purchasing your book, then not see an easy link to click.

For example, check out this screenshot from Alexa Donne’s video on Red Herrings. Almost half the video description is devoted to links to buy her books….

(Read more by clicking the link below.)

Source: How To Sell Your Book On Amazon [70 Book Marketing Tips]

Meet Paris: An Interview With My Main Character #MondayBlogs #amwriting


Happy Monday, everyone! How was your weekend?

Today, I have for you is an interview with Paris Thompson. She’s the female main character who has been through a lot of obstacles and had fought to overcome them.

***If you haven’t read Trenton’s interview (Paris’ boyfriend/male main character), please do so by going here.

1. Tell us about yourself, Paris.

Hi everyone! Great to be here. Well, a little about me, I’m a 18-year-old college student majoring in nursing. One sister, no brothers. My parents are divorced. Hmm… what else? I’m currently in therapy for my PTSD. Uh, I had some things in life that threw lemons and dropped rocks on my head. I’m still overcoming the night of my attack, and have nightmares… Can we move on, please?

2. Sure. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

I’m an introvert most definitely. I’m far from being a social butterfly. It’s very hard to get me to go out and party; I prefer to sit at home, read and watch movies.

At times, I can be even-tempered, then when something sets me off, I get aggressive, moody, and/or too quiet. I can’t let anything go.

3. If I asked you to write an entry in your journal, what would it be about?

It would be about how I’m progressing every day with therapy, and my views on life.

4. What parts of loving come easy to you?

Parts of? (Frowning) Girl, I don’t know what you mean. As in sex “loving” or loving someone?

(Loving someone, or yourself.) Oh. (Lol.)

Well, what I’ve learned is that you have to first love yourself. I thought I once have. I love every part of myself, inside and out. From my physical features to my whole being- the good and the bad and nurturing myself back to fullness, mentally and spiritually. I’m not beating myself up anymore over things I can’t change.

Loving someone, um..hmm… the closeness for sure. Nothing like feeling like you can bond with someone on some deeper level, and connecting on a higher level. The passion- being fully committed to each other and willing to make it work. It more than just the sexual attraction, which nothing is wrong with that, you got to have more.

Love isn’t easy. I know that now. It’s an unhurried and fulfilling process with the right one. With me and Trent, we’re taking it slow, and rebuilding one day at a time.

5. What can you tell us about yourself that most people, like family for instance, doesn’t know?

I, uh- hmm… I can’t say at the moment. (Looking nervously around, twiddling her thumbs.)

6. Did you have a happy childhood?Why or why not?

My childhood was okay. My parents tried to make it work being married to each other. They get along well now; sometimes I feel like they do it just for my benefit. They love me; I love them dearly, and they have some kind of love still for each other.

I had only one friend my entire life. My childhood is like any other person’s. Can’t really complain. Then again, there are some dark secrets I’m harboring. Don’t ask what they are, because I couldn’t even say them in the last question.

7. What matters the most to you in life?

Pamela, what matters most to me in life is being happy. And being peaceful. You got to have that. I always felt like no matter what you do, it will never be good enough for anybody. I’m just glad I had suportive family who was there for me even when I was too ashamed to tell them what happened to me and all the unthinkable things I’ve done. Family that cares about you matters.

8. What are some of your interests?
(Smiling) My interests are: reading fiction books by Kimberla Lawson Roby, Carl Weber, E. L. James, James Patterson, and Eric Jerome Dickey. They are my faves. There’s nothing like curling up with a good book and dare someone to bother you.

I like volunteering in the community. Right now, I volunteer at my local hospital. I absolutely love helping the elderly and being there for them in their time of need.

I enjoyed watching horror and romance movies, baking, and riding bikes together with my fam.

9. What is your greatest regret?

My biggest regret is meeting this girl named Caitlin. Gosh! I was so stupid for hanging with her when I knew she was bad news. There was signs pointing in every direction, but did I take heed?- no! I kept going around the damn girl because she brought excitement into my life, thrills, the glamorous life.

At times, I was bored because I had nothing else better to do with myself. She was an outlet for me. However, all that led to my boyfriend and me having a strained relationship; I nearly lost him, and I ended up being addicted to sex and drugs. I lost my self-respect and dignity. Oh, yeah, I ended up in a nuthouse. So, yeah, I regretted meeting HER!

10. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

Basically what I’ve mentioned for the last question. So, I would changed my vulnerability towards the people I meet. I would change my ability to be more focus when times get tough; especially when last year upon meeting Caitlin, I felt abandoned or neglected by those I love. She used that time of weakness to prey on me. I want to change to being a MUCH better me, one day at a time.

*********

This concludes my interview with Paris. Thank you, Paris!

I hope to you all that this interview helps give you a clear understanding on who Paris is and what she shared with us today. Her life was distressing at times, but worth writing about, because I felt empathy towards her struggles, trials, and determination to turned her life around.

As for the part 2 of Trent’s interview, I’m still waiting for a response on when he is available since our interview was previously cut short and he had more to share with us.

Thank you for stopping by and reading!

©2016 Pamela E. Hester