If We Were Having Coffee…

If we were having coffee, I’ll start off by asking how your day went. Tell me how have you been, what’s new in your life, and/or anything particular you want to get off your chest. Because darling, I have a load to get off of my mines.

If we were having coffee, I’ll take Arabica flavor with hazelnut or caramel macchiato. Sigh. I take a sip and stare afar but won’t keep you in suspense. This virtual coffee date may become a bit tense.

If we were having coffee, I’ll tell you I didn’t get the job I spoke about getting to support my daughter and me in a previous post. It’s the same job I was offered before that I couldn’t take because of our, my daughter and my, situation. My heart was set since I’ve done quite well in the interview than the last time! I was sick at the first interview!

I would tell you how devastated I am and how I have to keep pushing to find another job. I would tell you how hard it is to get a job in the field you went to school for- medical, and how the job process is long and tiring. And scary too. Fingers crossed.

If we were having coffee, I’ll tell you how much I am working on my mental health and how a disbelieving, nerve wracking news has affected me so. At first, I was under the impression that a daughter of my child’s father was going to be dropped on us. It’s kind of weird how I planned for MY escape and all awhile without asking me, he assumed I would care for HIS daughter that he conceived with another woman years before we met. In any other time, on another astral plane I probably could.

If we were having this delicious coffee, I would tell you how I can not and will not help this thirteen-years-old child over my own. It’s unfair that the girl’s mother doesn’t want her and I would have to pick up her motherly duties. The girl is rebellious, wild, and don’t like to be told. Over the few years of knowing her, when I was to babysit her, she was okay but as she became a teenager, she won’t listened when her father and I told her to put her education first instead of chasing boys. I know being a teenager is hard and terrifying, but she simply like doing things her way; especially since her mother is always on the road leaving her and her other sisters (on her mother’s side) home alone. I’m just not able to care for her when I have too much on my plate and hindrance against me as it is.

If we were having coffee, I will remind you that I’m not a wife nor stepmother and my duties can only go so far. I would ask you if you think I’m complaining. Or is it the anxiety taking over. I’ve lost sleep in the last week and running on very low fuel.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that now the girl won’t be living with us. Her father been informed after figuring out what’s been going on with no questions answered for days that his child has a terrible, god-awful disease called AIDS. I will be praying for her, cause I believe it’s her parents job to do what’s best for her like I have to do for my daughter.

Thank you for sitting in on this coffee chat. I appreciate it greatly for listening to me. Have a wonderful day!
Always be protected. Always be safe. Talk to your children or anyone about the importance of safe sex especially with our young people. 💜

Let’s Have Coffee My Dear

If we were having coffee right now I would ask you what’s your preference. Mines is everything I can get my hands on, I like to experiment. But, for now, I’m sipping on café mocha Mm. Coffee has never steer me wrong and now, I have all sort of news I would like to share with you. Oh boy, you are in for  a treat, oh! I just hope I don’t bored you.

Go on ahead and take that first sip, you’ll going to need it. Well, where to start, oh,  have I mentioned my little sister is getting marry. Yes, so happy for her. Even though she’s marrying before her big sis, but happy for her nonetheless. She’s finally with someone who actually with her for her, who loves and cherishes her. She just better not make me a bridesmaid though. LoL. Maid of honor, sis.

As we are sipping on this delicious brown liquid, can you believe this female I love has actually been jealous of me all these years? Me! What’s special about me though. As I admired her life, she is married to a wonderful man and have a beautiful family. She have a lot of good going for her. Yet, I can’t even get my boyfriend of 7 years to commit how I want him to. I know I can be an impatient woman, but come on, 7 years living together with a six year old! He’s about to be an ex boyfriend of 7 years, keep it up.

As I peers into this mug, I think back to when this female whom I sacrifice for, lied for, covered shit up for, and she actually jealous of me.

How’s that coffee? Good, I know. I have a whole pot of it just waiting. Everything I strive to do, she would tell me not to do that, because of this or that, and then she will go behind my back and get whatever it was I’d wanted. A job, a man, my hobbies- you name it. She is always in a competition with me. (I love helping and supporting others.) Like for instance with my love for writing since I was eight, she would tell me it wasn’t written right or whatever wrong, but will go and started writing something and want my help.

Till this day whenever I asked out of the blue how she is doing, her answer sounds more like, “I’m doing better than you.” Everything I do now, I avoid sharing with her. I missed what we had in the beginning-the trust, loyalty, the support.

Where have all this coffee gone? Seems like you needed it more than me. Yeah, I know, I’m a chatterbox today. Do you think we should had tea instead?