Give More Love, Have Less Hate


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First off, let me say that I am NOT men-bashing or criticizing others. I’m merely sharing my opinions and experiences on the topic. Also, feel free to share your thoughts and feelings on the subject.

Lately, I have came to the conclusion to make a drastic change in my life. I have no qualms about it, but hopes that it carry on without any setbacks. No disappointments or negativity.

When you have to question yourself repeatedly whether someone cares about you or even love you; and that aren’t showing you in the fashion they are supposed to, you have to absolutely no choice but to move on. It’s like that saying goes, “you can’t make someone love you.” It’s true.

I am always seeking ways to better myself- career wise and personal. But, I’ll be damn if I’m going to change for someone who can care less if you are breathing or not.

You see, when I first started this blog four years-off and on mind you, it was to help others in the matters of love and relationships (mostly). I found out a couple of years ago that I been neglecting myself and my self-esteem went kaput. I had stayed and dealt with the controlling, abuse, the drama for my daughter. But, it’s more damaging staying than just leaving. In fact, leaving is always better said than done.

I feel that if there’s no real love that is truly, madly, and deeply and you are willing to make it work without the disrespect, miscommunication, and the unnecessary stress, you should just call it quits. Especially if years of the same thing have went by!

People play games-no, coming from where I am, men play games. They can be in their thirties even forties and can tell you what they really want out of life and will string you along within their web of lies and deceit.

Most women go through a lot because we believe the men lies. Or think their controlling, stalking ways is he loving you. No. Nowadays, it takes nearly a year to get to know a person, but, what kind of time do you have? The kind that will protect your heart from- EVERYTHING.

There are people who are searching for something real and wanting to make it work, but you just can’t toy with their feelings.

Feeling are hurt

Spirit is broken

Mind wondering what did I do to deserve this

Wanting to leave but you won’t allow it only when you say so

My mental health is a joke to you

But I will remain strong and move onward without you

To everyone else: any kind of abuse is a dangerous thing and you can not let anyone take you to down that path of destruction.

You are strong. You are beautiful. You will make it out. 

Love, 

Pamela 💖

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Allow Yourself To Be Greater 


As 2015 comes to a close, I think back to what a year this had been. It wasn’t all bad and it wasn’t all good, yet it prepared me for what  is to come.  

What an interesting year! A year of learning and challenges. I want to share this poem below with you for I found it quite inspiring. Be better, greater, heck be all you can be in 2016, and on December 31, 2016 you can look back on all the amazing accomplishments you made. Happy New Year!!! 

 Allow yourself to dream,

And when you do dream big.

Allow yourself to learn,
And when you do learn all you can.

Allow yourself to laugh,
And when you do share your laughter.

Allow yourself to set goals,
And when you do reward yourself as you move forward.

Allow yourself to be determined,
And when you do you will find you will succeed.

Allow yourself to believe in yourself,
And when you do you will find self-confidence.

Allow yourself to lend a helping hand,
And when you do a hand will help you.

Allow yourself relaxation,
And when you do you will find new ideas.

Allow yourself love,
And when you do you will find love in return.

Allow yourself to be happy,
And when you do you will influence others around you.

Allow yourself to be positive,
And when you do life will get easier.

 by: Catherine Pulsifer, Allow Yourself 

No More Standing at a Crossroad


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When I had first done this poem for myself and for whomever it may have spoken to, I was at an all time low. Writing this poem out has helped healed the wounds I once thought WAS healed. Reflecting back to this poem, I can truly say No More of being at that crossroads. No More of everything that’s not positive in my life.


 

Standing At a Crossroads

By: Pamela (kphoenix1) Hester

March 2015

 

I’m at a crossroads, wondering if I should stay or leave.

If I continued to stay, I’ll have to fight,

Fight for peace, acceptance, and for love.

If I leave, I will be at peace, in perfect harmony,

But, alone, yet submissive to my own needs and understanding.

I want to be understood, the need is strong, yet controllable.

People search their entire lives for love, while

I searched my entire life trying to find myself.

I look left where my insecurities reminds me,

That I haven’t yet fully grown spiritually.

I look right where my values and goals reminds me,

Of the important factors I’m supposed to live by,

To be my guide in decision-making in complex situations.

I look backward where dark, troublesome days lives,

Taunting me to go back to the days that held me hostage,

Of everything and everyone who brought on the negatively, immaturity, bitterness, the deep

Emotions I held on for far too long.

I look forward where possibilities and hopefulness lies,

I can see clearly the path I’m suppose to take.

The path where my wants and needs matter, and will be taken care of.

No more allowing others to dictate to me with negatively,

No more feeling weak with longing to put my life in my perspective,

No more going back to what doesn’t put my best interest at heart,

No more.

©2015 Pamela E. Hester

Three-Days Quote Challenge (Round II, Day 3)


I would like to thank Chape from Chape blog, a blog where you can find motivation, fitness, and all things health, for nominating me.

Today’s quotes are quotes on being happy. I’m not sure who they are from  since the name wasn’t provided, but these quotes really speak to me; especially when I’m feeling down like during this Christmas holiday.

Have a happy Christmas Eve!!!

  

  

Taking One Day At A Time 


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Writing this has been thought of over and over whether to post it or not. I was feeling high to low and back to low again this week. After taking to a friend of mine yesterday, I had bawled. I cried and cried in the bathroom like a baby before preparing dinner for my daughter and me. Sometimes you try with all your might to stay strong and, yet you feel hopeless.

Most of you may not know this but a few years back I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I was put on medications and even went to counseling. The counseling work wonders and I’ve been thinking about going back. The medications wasn’t too great. Either my body felt depended on them or messed me up emotionally and physically. I was either too happy for comfort or too moody. If I happened to missed a few days of taking my pills, I’ll get sick. I felt horrible. It has been almost a year since I been off the medications, yet I still take for high blood pressure.

Yesterday, waves of emptiness and sorrow swallowed me as I cried till I choked on my tears. I thought I was getting somewhere which I’m sure I was, but I have a problem with being patient. If you have worked so hard on yourself and on projects, looking for jobs, it will leave you wondering why haven’t anything surpassed yet. I am literally sick and tired of feeling like a failure and sacrificing myself cause of what? I’m not going to vent on and on, I just want to be happy and persevere onwards, while taking one day at a time.

So, I been meditating more often. I found an app called Nature Sounds. I love listening to it and it even let me mixed up the sounds. If you like the sound of rain which majority of us do, it has all types of rain sounds. Or, when you want to go to the beach like me but can’t, you can close your eyes and visualize being there; allowing your spirit to feel at peace, your mind at ease, and your body relaxed.

On YouTube, I became addicted to falling asleep while playing the meditative sounds with binaural beats in my ears while also working on my chakras. Trust me, it’s a go-to and it will help you tremendously if you allow it too.

I’m just an empathic individual who had allowed mediocre, negative people bring me back to my lowest; it’s not worth it.

I do have a challenge for you all that I’m doing too. It can be easy or hard- depends on you.

My challenge is:

  1. Let’s love on one another.
  2. Whatever may be going astray in your life, talk about it or write it down.
  3. Meditate or whatever you do to relax.
  4. Be positive. Surround yourself with positive people as well.
  5. Take a time out to do what makes you happy. We all could use a pick-me-up.
  6. Be active and proactive.
  7. Rest.

That’s it for today loves. One can only hope what the next day will bring. But, we have to take one day at a time for tomorrow isn’t promise to us.

What do you do to relax and/or how do you get through your days?