April Writing Challenge- Day 1: What Makes Me Happy #AprilWritingChallenge

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Hmm. What makes me happy? Some things make me happy, but the challenge for today mentioned what makes me really happy. As I ponder this while listening to the television play in the background, I must say that the ten things that make me really happy in no particular order are:

  1. Being alive. Each day I thank God for allowing me to see another day. While thankful, I try to remind myself to be grateful and not get caught up in what I don’t have. And try to remember the blessings I do have and not get stress on the happenings in the world.
  2. My daughter. Though she does gets on my nerves sometimes, and sometimes gets beside herself, I love her lots. She challenges me whether she knows it or not. She is eleven now and God knows I am crying now and getting the strength to endure her teenage years that are coming.
  3. Writing. You guys already know that I hope. Writing brings power to words of what comes from the inside. It’s empowering, soul-inspiring and therapeutic. A quote that sticks out to me about it is:

    “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” by- Maya Angelou

    “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.” by- Virginia Woolf

  4. Your posts. I love reading your posts and getting to know more about you from what you all decide to share with everyone in your posts. I always find it to be a wonderful feeling reading what others write/type about from all walks of life and from around the world.
  5. Music/Dancing. It’s no secret to how much I loooove music and dancing. However, there is one to me dancing to my heart’s content and in the midst of my…uh, exuberance, I nearly flipped over a table. Another occasion my daughter caught me dancing to a dance hall number.
    Music Video GIF
    Gif courtesy by/; pixabay.com

    Music fills me with joy and it is extremely therapeutic. No matter the mood I’m in, I tend to turn to it. During these times, and any other times, it is greatly needed. It is uplifting and decreases stress and increases happiness. Yay! So, you already know what dancing does. They cause you to have a baby. Okay, maybe not. But, I am sure it does for most. Hey! Anyway, dancing reduces stress and increases serotonin. It also improves the conditions of your heart and lungs. So as you see, music and dancing are vital to our health.

  6. Food. Yes, I love to eat. And, it makes it harder to lose weight, though I shouldn’t make any excuses.
  7. Adventure. Yes, I am an adventurous person. Over the last some odd years, I been in the house, not by choice. Now, I regret not being to get out of the house more now that this Covid-19/coronavirus pandemic is going on. I believe that getting out, though I am also not much of an outdoors-person, (yes I know, I’m weird), gives me a sense of enjoyment and not knowing but wanting to know the unknown. I am a curious person and would love to get back to the side of me again.
  8. Being me. There is something about being able to be yourself. There has been a time where I haven’t always have the ability to be me. So, whenever I am smiling and feeling good about thyself and whatever else, then people should just allow me to just be. I am not a good person in any way when I am not. I had family members that had me believing that being myself was like committing a crime. Whenever I would get too excited and wanted to just “spread my wings and fly,” they would give me this look like I shouldn’t do that and what is wrong with you, girl. It had taken a while for me to find myself and to learn who the hell I am. I don’t want to go back to that girl who was always afraid to talk, to act a certain way, and to just be. I am evolving and am practicing self-love. More on this subject another time.
  9. Being free. The definition of being free is- 1: the quality or state of being free: such as. a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action. b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence. c: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous freedom from care. This comes from the Merriam-Webster dictionary. The sense of not being bound to a place or person sends shots of carefree-ness coursing through my veins. I don’t want to get off into the other realms of being free even though I feel like sometimes I must put a filter on some subjects because I just may go too far into the deep waters. What I really would like to say, I will touch the subject in another post. One thing I would like to add- is one ever truly free?
    Photo courtesy by: pixabay.com
  10. Spirituality. Since I was a little girl, I have always wondered about life, the Earth, everything beyond the stars, the known and unknown, and that goes for the supernatural and paranormal. Spirituality has always been a part of me even when I didn’t know it. I won’t go too far into because I know most of my readers are not into that type of stuff, but I will brush the surface because I am forever educating myself. It makes me happy because I have grown into who and what I am meant to be and I am still growing. You can never learn too much. Since 2017, I have learned about meditation, chakras, tarot, what soul mates, karmic partners, and twin flames are all about. I feel jubilant to have opened my third eye into the realms into the Universe that I dare to go. I feel like do what feels comfortable to you, not what makes others feel comfortable. Then again, sometimes even we should be a little comfortable so we can assess why we are feeling the way we are feeling, and if this is okay or not to us. More on that later.
    Photo courtesy by: pixabay.com

I hope you have enjoyed and gotten to learn a little more about me. I hope to learn more about you guys as well.

Stay tuned for Day 2.

Stay well and blessed lovelies.

Life Gets Hard, And You Have Strength To Get Through It

Hi everyone! I hope you all are doing well. I’ve been struggling to write this post, and had it drafted since Tuesday. It also isn’t edited. 😐

Lately, other than busying myself with writing and any and everything that go along with that, home life took a major toll on me.

For one, I had applied to many jobs and finally found my luck- or so I thought. I went through the entire process with the staffing agency, drug test and all, two weeks ago. I had a start date, which was on my birthday!

I remembered praying to start a new job that had worked just well for my daughter and me. Imagined my surprise my prayers were answered.

Yet, like always, I allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled into believing the start date was too close to being at the end of the school year, and I shouldn’t take the job. School ends on June 6, mind you.

I never felt so much hate for a person who would constantly manipulated me into doing something they want me to do, and for me to not be able to do what I need/want to do. And, had hated myself briefly. This person is the main reason why I had to constantly take time away from my blog during the 5 years it’s been up. I was mentally drained and couldn’t focused, along with trying to understand how to even keep it going then.

Even though, I had went to the agency last week that I couldn’t start this past Monday, they said they would put me on another position starting mid-June. I’m thrilled, but know my situation will have me back to where it started; if I allowed it.

Sometimes in life you have to remove yourself from a situation to get to where you need to be. A blogger friend had mentioned this before on her blog, forgot who it was. The saying is so true and real.

Oftentimes, I would back away from people- online and offline- so I won’t give off negative vibes. No one wants that or deserve that. Sometimes, I would pretend that I’m okay and post something here and there to keep my mind off of what’s going on.

However, I know, now very much, that your problems are still present unless you do something about it. Like I mentioned before, last year on a post, this is the final straw. What more can one person do to make something better, when the other person just keep being manipulative, controlling, short tempered, and a total user.

I’m not allowed to make my own decisions or even have a life. It’s like this person doesn’t want me to have freedom, AND we’re not married.

I’m to move out in a few months for this job to better myself, and I’m told I’m needed to stay to help raised his 14 y.o. daughter that have more problems than a little bit. Since she was 12, she been sexual active, cutting herself, and doing drugs.

I can’t be here for that when she comes back this summer. Did I mentioned she ran off from me because she didn’t want to go to school, and jumped in a car with a grown man!

I apologized for dumping this load on you all. I felt like I had to say this to get off my chest. I’m sick and tired of the drama and negatively.

Please, don’t ever allowed someone to do to you what this person done to me. Be better than that, you are worthy, strong, and no one deserves mistreatment.

Enjoy your weekend.

Love you all,

Pamela 🌹

Motivation and Inspiration Quotes- #FridayFeeling

Before I go through this day reflecting on life, I want to leave you with these three quotes below to keep in mind.

Life is so precious. Life is our biggest teacher. We have to live this wonderful yet difficult life one day at a time. Life life to the fullest!

Rest in peace to Prince and to all the greatest people we have lost.