Oh, How The Time Had Flown!

On 02/17/202202/17/2022 By PamelaIn Writing8 Comments

Oh my goodness! I can’t believe 13 years had flown by just like that. I am officially a mother of a teenager and the feeling is indescribable. The moment she was placed in my arms, so many emotions had ran through I believe I temporarily lost my breath.

My daughter was supposed to be born the next day, (because the doctor was going to induce my labor) but she arrived into the world the night before. She always never did like being told what to do and is still the same way. Lol. She tends to do things on her own time.

I always thought being a mother was hard, and it is but rewarding. I don’t know what I would do or what my life would be like if my daughter wasn’t in it.

She is beautiful, smart, creative, intelligent, sassy, strong, etc, and I am blessed to be chosen as her mother. I wish the best for her, and I thank God for getting us this far.

Omg! I am still overwhelmed about having a teenager. I went through the photo album and had gotten emotional looking through the photos of the years leading up to now. I had truly did my best to be the best mother a child can have because growing up, I didn’t have good mother figures.

To my daughter: I am so proud of you and I wish you all the best life can offer you. Be bold and daring. Be courageous and take life one step at a time. I have much more to teach you, and so do life. Keep at you goals and never give up. I’m crying now, but know how much one can pray for the safety of a child when that child is not around them. I wish you all the love, strength, passion for your dreams to come through, peace, good health, and happiness. I may be missing something but you get it.

So, Happy Birthday, my little queen! Mommy loves you sooooo much! Hugs and kisses. 💗❤️❤️

How I Spent Valentine’s Day And My Weekend

On 02/16/202202/16/2022 By PamelaIn Writing3 Comments

I am late posting about Valentine’s Day. I know, I know. I have no explanation other than that I was procrastinating.

Last Saturday, my daughter and I spent the day with my mom and brothers. We walked to my dad’s grave to finally put a headstone there. It was an emotional moment and I wish my sister could have made it.

After staying for several moments, I was relieved our dad finally received what we tried to get for him after so many years had passed. But better late than never. We then walked back to my mom’s home.

Sunday, I spent most of the day braiding my daughter’s hair and putting it in a crochet hairstyle. After that, we ate veggie lasagna (since I’m trying to eat healthily) and spent the rest of the day watching Don’t Breathe 2 and having our Valentine’s Day ritual since we won’t be able to spend the actual holiday together. (She lives at our old residence with her dad because she wants to continue to go to her old school.)

On Monday, I spent Valentine’s Day with my mom and brothers for the entire day. We shopped and went out to Golden Corral since that’s where my brothers wanted to go. I am not much of a fan of the restaurant now.

At the end of the day, I was thankful and felt blessed to have spent the day with my family and the day before with my daughter. Love comes in many forms, and I had once told my daughter that Valentine’s Day is not just for relationships and marriages. It’s for anyone and everyone.

I told her that because she shared with me her thoughts and feelings about why her dad and I never spent Valentine’s day like what she saw with other people. She never saw the cards, teddy bears, getting dressed up to go out in the town, etc. She never saw her parents actually show love on any day. Not kiss and definitely not hugging much when we were together.

I spent Valentine’s day with those who mattered the most. Because why should anyone feel bad because they are single on Valentine’s Day. A person can show themselves love and it does feel good to have someone express love to you. And even though I only know love coming from my parents, child, and siblings, and loving myself, I understand it and growing without feeling like I’m not worthy of it.

Still, those three days was fun and amazing. And I am blessed to have spent the days with my family.

Remember, Never Give Up

On 02/02/202202/02/2022 By PamelaIn Blogging5 Comments

Remembering Snow Day

On 01/26/2022 By PamelaIn Blogging2 Comments

Last Saturday came and gone but not before bringing us a blanket of snow (or two). It has been years since my daughter and I had gotten out to enjoy something as beautiful as the snow. Though, it was brief because because beautiful as it may be, I can never enjoy snow for too long.

My daughter even got to make a snow angel, sadly, for the first time. I had to get it on camera. 😊

What Do You Love To Do?

On 01/23/202201/23/2022 By PamelaIn Writing6 Comments

(Scheduled post.)

The work and time authors put into writing their book is a task that is both challenging and rewarding. It’s almost doesn’t feel like work, but it is. Then there’s the reader who gets experienced in the world in which the characters lived. And go on this journey with the characters.

Being an avid reader is something that had done more than give me a place to escape. It is both relaxing and gives me this “book high.”

As I went through the days, weeks, and months of last year, so much had happened that I can’t even begin to list them all. I had gotten away and moved from an abusive ex where the person and environment took toxic to a whole other level. I was sick two months straight and had to force myself to do everything because I felt like a walking zombie.

In a previous post, I spoke about my doctor who doesn’t really do her job like she should. I ended up getting another doctor and was placed on different medications for my blood pressure. And I also ended up on anxiety/depression medicine.

And I also found out why I was always tired and weak– my blood levels for vitamin D were extremely low. I had gone through a few years with my previous doctor and she always claimed to not know why my health was declining. And here comes the new doctor who knew what to do and was able to get my health where it should be.

I can say so many negatives happened last year, but there were some positives too. I confess, my therapist had to actually help me see that.

Doing that 50-books Goodreads challenge last year had helped me a lot in so many ways. I am still glad I did.

When I published my book on January 22, I was happy but also a little sad. A little sad because like I mentioned before it is the month my dad was born. On Saturday, as I’m writing this, a family member and I were talking about my dad. While there are times I still get emotional even though he passed away almost 19 years ago, this person wanted to bring up bad thoughts they harbored about him.

And all I can think about is the weekend I keep trying to get in touch with my dad the weekend he passed away in November 2003. He was very sick and never wanted us to remember him that away. But all I can remember was trying to get in touch with him because I was supposed to move in with him. And since I couldn’t drive at the time, I had to keep finding someone to take me to him.. Come to find out, I was too late. He died alone and was dead for a whole weekend before anyone knew.

Okay, those memories are making me sad again, and I’m glad it is not November.

What I am saying is, no matter what is going on in your life, doing something you love can really help. Other than reading and writing, music, and watching movies are the things that I can solace in.

What about you? What do you find solace in? Or what do you like to do that you find happiness in?

Love and blessings to you.

— Pamela ❤