March Writing Challenge- Day 2: Do I Have Any Irrational Fears?


Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Hmm. When I think about fears, the first thing that comes to mind is the emotional reaction to them and believing those fears will cause harm. Silly, right?

Since I was a little girl I had always feared being in confined spaces and I still do. Claustrophobia is a serious issue for me and over the years I have learned to cope with that fear, not so successfully, I might add. Being in an elevator or walking in a narrow hallway isn’t fun for me. And especially if there are people on the elevator or someone walking in the halls at the same time as me and we have to pass each other.

I hate the feeling of my heart racing and my breathing hitched. The thought of having the walls of a room or area I’m in closing up on me causes me anxiety. I don’t know how I became this way, but I know that I had always been in homes and most places that are considered small in size to me whereas it might not be to others. It’s not by choice that I live in areas like that because I had lived with others and that was how it was.

I supposed living in those areas helps somewhat, but there are times when I have to envision myself in a wide-open space just to cope with it. And not only with spaces, standing or sitting too close to people when I have no choice but to or them to me, is nerve-wracking but you get the picture.

So, the fear of confined and small spaces/places are one of the many fears I have. I deal with them on my own and have learned to watch my anxiety and not panic.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for Day 3.

Do you have irrational fears you would like to share with us?

And join in on the writing challenge with us if you like.

March Writing Challenge: Day 1- Best Compliment I’ve Ever Received


Image by SilviaP_Design from Pixabay

It has been quite a while since I have done a challenge, and I am glad to say that I am taking part in doing so with Marquessa and others who are doing the same. Do head on over to her blog and check out the 31 questions that you can do as well if you are interested.

For today’s challenge, the question is: what’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Well, thinking about the compliments I have received over the years, I am not sure what was the best one, or hardly any. Other than, maybe… nice butt. Lol. Okay, all silliness aside, one of the best compliments I received was: “you are what matters, not what others think of you.”

It wasn’t really a compliment, but I took it as one because this person said it in a way that made me sit with myself and ponder on that.

I had issues with my image, always have, and I never believe I fit in anywhere. Not necessarily just image-wise, but because I tend to be weird or something. So, when I hear, “you are what matters, not what others think,” in the back of my mind, I can’t help but think what others do think about me.

If I would tell myself that I am a strong, Black beautiful woman, somewhere in my mind, I feel that society would do what it can to break and demean women who look like me. That’s how I feel. I can uplift myself and others, but society tends to have its own views about EVERYthing. And those times can make me feel angry and weary.

When receiving compliments in general when I would get them, I oftentimes wonder if the person meant what they said. Or, I’ll wonder why I was suppose to feel good about myself when a person thought they was giving me a good compliment about my weight.

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There are times when men, especially the ones of my race don’t really care about you and will make you feel like you’re not worthy of much of anything. There was once this guy who “claimed” he loved me and such, the usual blah blah while dropping compliments a dime a dozen. Well, I didn’t believe him at first. He wanted more.

So, long story short, I found out he had a wife. He kept acting like he didn’t. It turns he was some conceited, narcissist, you know what type of guy who, according to him, wanted someone to help him build his business and be his mistress. That someone being a Black woman, and wanted the Caucasian woman (his wife) as his lover and everything that was supposed to deemed as good. As for Caucasian women, he and most others of the ethnic group want what they want because they believe Caucasian women are deemed more beautiful and better than getting with a Black woman.

These aren’t all men though. There are still some good ones out there…somewhere. Though he made me feel like crap with the things he kept doing. (Sorry I can’t tell the full story for several reasons.) I was left with his friends saying stuff about me when I broke away from him. So, yeah I think too much about what others think about me.

It’s nothing new to me to hear and see a Black man down-talk and mistreat a woman of his own race and only want to deal with them if he can get what he wants from them. It’s hard enough dealing with the backlash from the world with the ever-present crimes, hatred, poverty, corruption, etc and having to deal with what’s going on in your own backyard. Sometimes, times get so hard, and there are people who’ll use, mistreat, and hate you for no reason.

So, when I lift my head up and stand tall and do whatever I can to bring my spirit up, it’s because, for one of many reasons, I am fighting an inner battle that can be too much to handle. I and most women and men I look at, are warriors and we can get through anything we set our heart out to do.

Compliments can be wonderful if given from the heart, and it can be something that’ll make you feel emotional when you’re not used to receiving them. And, compliments can make you feel awkward too.

Above all else, take compliments for what it’s worth. They can be positive and uplifting.


Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may ’cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
— Des’Ree “You Gotta Be”

Thanks for reading and let us know in the comments what is the best compliment you ever received. And/or how you feel about compliments.

You Only Live Once, Enjoy Life- #loveandpeace


There comes a time in your life when you have to take a step back and realize how precious life is.

So much heartache, attacks, killings, and just plain evilness that goes on in our lives and what we see and hear on television and social media.

We can’t give into the hurt and pain that are flooding this world and trying to take what light and love we have left.

Had a close call with a family member this week and thanking God this person is still here. Suicide and homicide play a major part in this world. It makes you think, wonder, and not taking life for granted.

Love one another; but, keep distance from those who exude negativity.

If you dislike something a person say or do, think before you act. And ask yourself if it is worth it.

Let love and light fill you up with positivity.

One love. One heart. Let get together and feel alright.

—Bob Marley

 

Image courtesy by pixabay.com

 

#MusicMonday- Cat’s In the Cradle #harrychapin


Photo by: pixabay.com Edited by: Pamela Hester

There is something about folk music that always makes me feel some kind of way. Perhaps it’s the nostalgia of it and the deep meaning behind the lyrics of those songs. The type of music that isn’t played much these days—that I know of.

Cats In The Cradle is a folk song sung by Harry Chapin. It is also written by him and his wife, Sandy. This song has been one of those songs that had lived on in nearly everyone’s hearts. It’s a song about a father wanting to spend more time with his son, but the demands of life make it hard for him to be the father he wants to be. And when he does find the time, it is much later in his life, and then his son doesn’t have the time or can’t find the time to spend with his father.

The lyrics are true because there are times when we (or we know someone who) are so busy with life that we/they don’t seem to find the time to spend with our/their significant other, family, or friends.

Image result for quotes about spending time with loved ones
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The love for our family, friends, or what have you, isn’t weigh or tested by how much we spend time with them. It is finding the time for the certain ones who are worthy of our time. Though for a child, sometimes, it can be hard for a parent to find the time to spend with their child(ren) because most are so busy working because we want to give them the best life possible.

We have to remember that time waits for no one. Time is something we all can’t get back. Not everyone deserves our precious time, but the ones that do deserve to spend as much time as possible while we are still alive.

LYRICS:

[Verse 1]
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, Dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

[Chorus]
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

[Verse 2]
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

[Chorus]
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

[Verse 3]
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while”
He shook his head and then said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please”

[Chorus]
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
You know we’ll have a good time then

[Verse 4]
I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kid’s got the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

[Chorus]
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then

Lyrics Source: Genius.com

Songwriters: Sandy Chapin / Harry F. Chapin
Cat’s in the Cradle lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc
Release Date: October 1st, 1974
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What does time when it comes to our loved ones mean to you?

 

#WordlessWednesday- Happy 12th Birthday To My Daughter


Looking over the years as I watched her grow into a young lady who is wise above her years, I realize how hard motherhood can be. Yet, rewarding.

I know I can be Mother Hover and want to shelter and protect her from the ways of the world, but I know that one day she will leave the nest and test her wings.

Life can be cruel and hard, but it can also be a lesson learned. I want her to know that.

As this is the year, the last year, before she officially becomes a teenager, I can only hope and pray that I continue to try to raise her right. And, that she choose the right path one day—for her. If not, I will continue to love her and trust that she will find her own way and place that trust in her to choose the life meant for her. I believe in her and know that she can accomplish anything she set her mind to.

I love you, my beautiful Aquarian daughter. May you continue to be smart, strong, empathetic, artistic, and all the things that make you, you.

Happy Birthday!!! 🎂🎈🎈

Photos taken by: Pamela Hester (I couldn’t choose one so I chose a “few,” from over the years.)