Love: To Be or Not to Be

What’s the definition of love? Love is an emotion and a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  I may or may not truly know what it “feels” like, but I have learned to love who I am. Because self-love feels good and who can love you better than you love yourself.

There may be people who may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Some will love you only if you are doing things for them. And some just may be genuine.

Let’s talk about relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing.

To be love can take on something so extraordinary.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy, compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree with that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationship, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance, but is that all? I have known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I have always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may have become bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe.

Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable, and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. Okay. I won’t go into details-you get the picture. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.

Empathy, love, trust, compassion, growth, appreciation, etc are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that’s all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you.

To not be love or loving, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matter to you. Either, you have been hurt, emotionally damaged, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. Perhaps, love isn’t something you seek, like, or want.

For me, I rather give myself time and just do whatever makes me happy. I have gone through where people have shown their true colors and lost my trust. Hurt, betrayal, and lies come to mind. It is better to focus on the betterment of your life and growth than to wait on that fairy tale Prince Charming that’s coming to save you-or not.

It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself that time. It’s worth it. Trust me, I know.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.


intimacya feeling of being intimate and belonging togetherMore (Definitions, Synonyms, Translation)

4 thoughts on “Love: To Be or Not to Be

  1. Pingback: Love is a Many-Splendored Thing « Hookedoninspiration's Blog

  2. Pingback: What Is Love? | Cindy Ortiz – Leap Like A Frog

  3. Pingback: Ask Carli: When Is It Too Soon To Say I Love You? | Just Blau Me

  4. Pingback: Wrought with Insecurities | Repairing Shattered Pieces

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