My heart is ready and prepares for tonight, but my mind is still cloudy from wondering if she still feels the same way about me, about us.
As I put on my black pants with no underwear on, I began to take a long drag of the ganja from the metal tray sitting on the night table, and allow the smoke to fill my lungs.
The night awaits me like newfound freedom, and I anticipated seeing her since it feels like forever we last saw each other. I miss touching her soft skin, inhaling her rich inviting fragrance, and…and… I need to pull myself together because they need me downstairs. I won’t wallow in distress. I just want her to love me the way I love her.
Once downstairs, I noted that everyone is becoming acquainted with one another. The laughter is lively and glasses are staying filled. They were all dressed in their costumes for the “What’s Your Fantasy” theme.
The host and hostess of the night, my best friends who are using my house for this occasion, are busying themselves doing what they normally do; keeping everyone entertained and satisfied.
Typhan noticed me and broke free of his wife, Vivian’s hand and hurried my way.
Hey man! How’s it going?” He said with a megawatt smile.
“What’s up? I’m good. You saw Tracee?”
“Yeah. She’s with a red-haired woman.” When he said that, I immediately looked around and saw five women with red hair, but no Tracee. What the hell? I muttered. I turned hastily to Ty and he utters a “good luck” and winks before heading back to Vivian who waves my way and kisses her husband. I didn’t bother waving back; they carried on without a care in the world, unashamedly.
After receiving a glass of vodka from a server, I interacted with several women and men who participated in various activities. Soft jazz music flowed throughout the house, women in leotards sashay and giggle as they pass me, and I’m distancing myself from the crowd in desperate need to search for Tracee.
Not so long as I began my search, I spotted her swaying her hips seductively to the music of Boney James with her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful and amazing as she continues to dance to the beats of drums and the saxophone, opening and closing her robe to tease us. The way she moved had all who were there in a trance, including me.
After her sensual dance, I move over to her, watching her as her eyes watch my every move. She knows I would be here, granted this is my home, and which had used to be hers. I could still hear her screams still vibrating off the walls when I go to sleep at night.
“Ryan, how have you been?” She said to me. She tried to force a smile but failed.
“I’m sure you know. What about you?”
“Been busy with work and just thinking about things.”
“Things like what?” I had to ask.
Tracee cocks her head, glances down at me, her eyes linger a little too long at my waistband, and said, “You still wanna prove how much you want me to be with you?”
I swallow; hearing those words almost made me regret once saying them. I nodded slowly and walked away. Okay, let’s do this your way. I gave her a flattering smile, trying to act like a lion, but inside I’m a scared kitten.
On a black chaise, I lay wearing only my pants and shoes waiting for her. My heartbeat faster when the doorknob turns, and she enters like a goddess that she is in a black and red satin negligee with stilettos.
No words are needed at this point. Tracee arched an eyebrow and stood there with her left hand on her hip. She’s taking no prisoners. She demands an answer. People from her past had hurt her and/or gave false promises. I was no better. She feels I treated her unfairly and didn’t love her. I love her more than anything. I just want her to understand that I’m not used to expressing myself the way she wants.
“Ryan, I’m here and you haven’t said a word. You don’t tell me anything about how you feel about us. It’s like you don’t care.” I can hear the shakiness in her voice. It breaks my heart. Coming here, and telling me how it affected her had let me know all hope wasn’t lost.
“Darling, I love you. I would get on my knees. I would do anything for you. You have to understand how much you mean to me. There’s no one else who can make me feel the way you make me feel. My heart will always belong to you. I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love, cherish, and will support you.” Unexpected teardrops fell and it shocked me because I’m not one to cry.
She reaches up and wipes the tears from my face and we embraced. “I love you too,” she moans against my lips. The intense, fiery energy consumed us. Nothing else matters.
We peel off our clothes and staggered over to the chaise where we made love to each other mind, heart, soul, and body.
© Pamela Hester- Written in 2017