Hi everyone! I hope you all are doing well. I’ve been struggling to write this post, and had it drafted since Tuesday. It also isn’t edited. 😐
Lately, other than busying myself with writing and any and everything that go along with that, home life took a major toll on me.
For one, I had applied to many jobs and finally found my luck- or so I thought. I went through the entire process with the staffing agency, drug test and all, two weeks ago. I had a start date, which was on my birthday!
I remembered praying to start a new job that had worked just well for my daughter and me. Imagined my surprise my prayers were answered.
Yet, like always, I allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled into believing the start date was too close to being at the end of the school year, and I shouldn’t take the job. School ends on June 6, mind you.
I never felt so much hate for a person who would constantly manipulated me into doing something they want me to do, and for me to not be able to do what I need/want to do. And, had hated myself briefly. This person is the main reason why I had to constantly take time away from my blog during the 5 years it’s been up. I was mentally drained and couldn’t focused, along with trying to understand how to even keep it going then.
Even though, I had went to the agency last week that I couldn’t start this past Monday, they said they would put me on another position starting mid-June. I’m thrilled, but know my situation will have me back to where it started; if I allowed it.
Sometimes in life you have to remove yourself from a situation to get to where you need to be. A blogger friend had mentioned this before on her blog, forgot who it was. The saying is so true and real.
Oftentimes, I would back away from people- online and offline- so I won’t give off negative vibes. No one wants that or deserve that. Sometimes, I would pretend that I’m okay and post something here and there to keep my mind off of what’s going on.
However, I know, now very much, that your problems are still present unless you do something about it. Like I mentioned before, last year on a post, this is the final straw. What more can one person do to make something better, when the other person just keep being manipulative, controlling, short tempered, and a total user.
I’m not allowed to make my own decisions or even have a life. It’s like this person doesn’t want me to have freedom, AND we’re not married.
I’m to move out in a few months for this job to better myself, and I’m told I’m needed to stay to help raised his 14 y.o. daughter that have more problems than a little bit. Since she was 12, she been sexual active, cutting herself, and doing drugs.
I can’t be here for that when she comes back this summer. Did I mentioned she ran off from me because she didn’t want to go to school, and jumped in a car with a grown man!
I apologized for dumping this load on you all. I felt like I had to say this to get off my chest. I’m sick and tired of the drama and negatively.
Please, don’t ever allowed someone to do to you what this person done to me. Be better than that, you are worthy, strong, and no one deserves mistreatment.
Enjoy your weekend.
Love you all,