If We Were Having Coffee…

If we were having coffee, I’ll start off by asking how your day went. Tell me how have you been, what’s new in your life, and/or anything particular you want to get off your chest. Because darling, I have a load to get off of my mines.

If we were having coffee, I’ll take Arabica flavor with hazelnut or caramel macchiato. Sigh. I take a sip and stare afar but won’t keep you in suspense. This virtual coffee date may become a bit tense.

If we were having coffee, I’ll tell you I didn’t get the job I spoke about getting to support my daughter and me in a previous post. It’s the same job I was offered before that I couldn’t take because of our, my daughter and my, situation. My heart was set since I’ve done quite well in the interview than the last time! I was sick at the first interview!

I would tell you how devastated I am and how I have to keep pushing to find another job. I would tell you how hard it is to get a job in the field you went to school for- medical, and how the job process is long and tiring. And scary too. Fingers crossed.

If we were having coffee, I’ll tell you how much I am working on my mental health and how a disbelieving, nerve wracking news has affected me so. At first, I was under the impression that a daughter of my child’s father was going to be dropped on us. It’s kind of weird how I planned for MY escape and all awhile without asking me, he assumed I would care for HIS daughter that he conceived with another woman years before we met. In any other time, on another astral plane I probably could.

If we were having this delicious coffee, I would tell you how I can not and will not help this thirteen-years-old child over my own. It’s unfair that the girl’s mother doesn’t want her and I would have to pick up her motherly duties. The girl is rebellious, wild, and don’t like to be told. Over the few years of knowing her, when I was to babysit her, she was okay but as she became a teenager, she won’t listened when her father and I told her to put her education first instead of chasing boys. I know being a teenager is hard and terrifying, but she simply like doing things her way; especially since her mother is always on the road leaving her and her other sisters (on her mother’s side) home alone. I’m just not able to care for her when I have too much on my plate and hindrance against me as it is.

If we were having coffee, I will remind you that I’m not a wife nor stepmother and my duties can only go so far. I would ask you if you think I’m complaining. Or is it the anxiety taking over. I’ve lost sleep in the last week and running on very low fuel.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that now the girl won’t be living with us. Her father been informed after figuring out what’s been going on with no questions answered for days that his child has a terrible, god-awful disease called AIDS. I will be praying for her, cause I believe it’s her parents job to do what’s best for her like I have to do for my daughter.

Thank you for sitting in on this coffee chat. I appreciate it greatly for listening to me. Have a wonderful day!
Always be protected. Always be safe. Talk to your children or anyone about the importance of safe sex especially with our young people. 💜

3 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee…

  1. Deb

    If we were having coffee, I would listen to all your worries and fear. I would understand the tough circumstances that you have to deal with. I would remind you that sometimes dealing with mental illness means we are allowed to be a bit selfish and put ourselves first. I would give you a hug, and tell you to hang in there. Because in time, all will definitely be fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: My Fave Post Picks #blogging #wordpress | K. Phoenix

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