I had walked the roads of loneliness, searching for someone or something to make me understand the truth.
Show me the truth. Show me the mirror to my soul. Make me see.
Why won’t anyone see how much this means to me? I’m not perfect nor do I try to be.
I’m just an imperfect, lost being trapped inside a world of darkness and sorrow. Grief and anguish. Despair and devastation.
Someone take me by the hand and show me the truth. I need to see what’s really behind that wall that is blocking me to view in on what I need to know.
I’m sinking. I’m in quicksand fighting my way out, from being suck in any further.
I’m fighting but growing weak. Getting weaker and weaker.
I see a person walking towards me. A silhouette of a man whose stature is strong. He’s coming closer. Closer still.
I know him. A man who gave his life to protect his own. A man who had never gave up. A man who no matter what was there to lead me and protect me.
I see his hand, reaching out to me. It’s large and strong as it gripped my smaller one.
I am pulled to safety. Relieved, knowing that all is well and that my troubles are gone away.
I said I missed you.
He smiled and stroked my cheek.
He said back that he is always here for me and my siblings and will always look over us.
I love him. I missed him dearly.
He was my best friend but father first. He looks down on me from the Heavens, and is here when I need him.
Losing someone that close is hard. But it gets better as time pass. Sometimes it seems like your whole world has crash, I know the feeling. I was devastated. Mad with God. Mad with everyone. I had refused to believe that the one person who matter so much had been taken away. It had taken a while for me to find myself. I was a total mess. I barely had a support system. Time manifested itself. I went through more issues afterwards, but I’ve gotten stronger.
It has been 12 years since my father passed and it took over half of that to get over his death. I know he would want me to move on and to live my life the best I can. I now how something to live for, my precious six-year old daughter.
Take time out for you. Find that special place that gives you that blissful moment. Time heals itself. Take all the time you need, no one expects you to overcome your grievance in a day or two. Go back to that happy place that lifts up your spirits. Keep precious memories alive.
I dedicate this post to my loving, dear father, Andrell James.
I love you. 🌹