Love: To Be or Not to Be

What’s the true definition of love? Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  Okay, someone may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Let’s talk relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing. The sweet kisses. The yearning to be held by your beloved. The passionate love-making the two of you make. Wow. Need I go on?

To be love can take on something so extraordinaire.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy,compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree on that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationships, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance. I have  known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I have always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may had become bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe. Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to always spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. They won’t dare look left or right eyeing the next person. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.


Emotions, love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and affinity are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you.

To not be love, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matters to you. Either, you been hurt, emotional damage, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. For me, I rather not get into anything romantically until I seek therapy or whatever works for me to recover. It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself time. It’s worth it.


“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Aristotle (BC 384-322), Greek Philosopher

“Nuptial love makes mankind; friendly love perfects it; but wanton love corrupts and debases it.” Francis Bacon (1561-1626), British Philosopher

“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” AmyCarmichael 1867-? Irish Missionary

“Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.” Gilbert K. Chesterton 1874-1936, British Author

4 thoughts on “Love: To Be or Not to Be

  1. Pingback: Love is a Many-Splendored Thing « Hookedoninspiration's Blog

  2. Pingback: What Is Love? | Cindy Ortiz – Leap Like A Frog

  3. Pingback: Ask Carli: When Is It Too Soon To Say I Love You? | Just Blau Me

  4. Pingback: Wrought with Insecurities | Repairing Shattered Pieces

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