As I look over my life and contemplated all that have transpired, I have realized how strong of a woman I become. I have been through a lot, things I shouldn’t have to go through. So I am here trying to get my life back on track, but it’s a hard struggle. Too many abuse, poverty, and disappointments had taken an unfortunate turn for the worst. Nevertheless, my life is going to get better. Saying it over and over, believing, gives me power to move forward and trust in God that everything will work out for the best.
What has life manifested to you? What has been your greatest loss? My greatest loss was my father who have died nine years ago(11/17/2009). When I found he had died, it was the most devastating thing that have ever happen to me. The world had stood still. Nothing else seems to matter.
Over the years, I grieved deeply for his death, angry with the world, and didn’t want to do anything positive that will get my mind out of the dumps. When I did, every negative thing happened. I couldn’t catch a lucky break. I couldn’t trust anyone because I was always let down. Tormented, hatred, turmoil took on a great toll. I wanted to sink into a dark, deep hole and never come out.
I kept making bad decisions, one after another, but wishing that one day my life will change. My life did change. I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Shelley. I had to get my life together by being the best mother I can possibly be. I then went on to medical school and finished, but the school didn’t want to give my credentials. My financial aid was a mess and I can not go back to school using financial aid. I will have to pay out-of-pocket or something.
So, three and a half years later with my daughter going on four in three months, I’m making an awe-inspiring decision to pursue my writing career that has always been my dream. The economy has cause me to go without a job, but I truly believe that sometime soon a change will come. A change for my daughter, Shelley, and as well as for me. I do not want to live hand to mouth and worrying about whether we’re going to have a home or not.
So, whatever you’re going through, trust and believe that there’s something bigger and better at the end of your trials. Trouble doesn’t last always. Even though I haven’t said all the bad that had occur to me, I feel deep down inside life does get worse if you wallow in your own distress. You have the power to transform the direction life takes you.
Belive in yourself. Take charge. You are unique.