Last month, my daughter and I had done something for the first time together and that was taking a much-needed trip to the beach. Our trip to Myrtle Beach, SC, in which we spent 3 nights, was something that had its moments but was well spent. The only thing I wish was that we could have stayed there longer.
But first, I’m would like to update you on some things that I haven’t mentioned or haven’t in a long time. My anxiety has gotten worse since last year which led to going back into depression. I had been on this anxiety/depression medication since last November, but the dose was low.
The side effects from it definitely got me to question it, but I kept taking them. I hated the feeling of being sad and crying off and on, and sometimes for no reason. Sometimes I would go through so many different emotions in one day I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep it all away.
Around me, there was one problem after another. And some problems were happening in my family that affected me in some way as well. For instance, last school term, my daughter had been dealing with one issue after another with students at her school. She had gotten into a fight with a girl. She had been bullied, as she had before in elementary school and last school term.
The entire school term for 2021-’22 was horrible. The school officials weren’t doing their job. I tried just about everything I could… My daughter was so stressed, that her anxiety got worse and she went into depression. Now, she has been getting therapy sessions and I still do.
Another day another post for that. It’s getting me a bit emotional.
That weekend beach trip was relaxing and fun for both of us. It had been years since we have been to the beach or anywhere that was more than 10 miles from our home rather. That Friday, our transportation had gotten us there early, like around 11:00 am. And the hotel’s check-in time was 4pm. So the front desk allowed us to leave our suitcases with them and my daughter and I walk to get lunch and just walk around to check out places around the boardwalk.
That evening, we rode on the Skywheel for the first time. If you’ve never been to one, you’ll love it.
The next day we visited the Hollywood Wax Museum. We’ve done three attractions in one place: the wax museum itself, Hannah’s Hall of Mirrors, and the Outbreak-Dread The Undead. The Outbreak consisted of “zombies” so-called scaring you. The only thing that scared…ahem, scared me was the women screaming in my group. Lol. I felt like we were extras in a scene in a sci-fi movie. The entire experience at the museum was enjoyable and fun for everyone.
Later that night, my daughter and I got into the pool at our hotel. It was going well at first until my daughter almost drowned. It was scary and thinking about it still, reminded me of when someone threw me (when I was her age) into a pool and I thought I was going to drown. My daughter and I don’t know how to swim. Though, it’s not her first time being in a pool. She had even dunked her head underwater then, but last month was a different story. She pushed off into the water and lost control. I was sitting near the edge, the part where the steps are, and reached out to grab onto her. Her arms and legs were flailing and with one last grab on her jeans shorts, I tugged hard and got her to safety. That was a scary moment.
After recovering from that, the next day, (Sunday) we went to the Family Kingdom Amusement Park. A few of the rides we had gotten on were quite fun. The park is old (opened in 1966) and most of the rides are close to showing their age, but they run pretty well.
My daughter never rode on a rollercoaster before, so I had gotten her hyped up weeks before our trip about getting on one. I love rollercoasters; they’re one of my thrills. By the time we got in line to get on the rollercoaster, my short self stood on the tips of my toes to see the coaster we were getting on. You know, to see the mechanics of them up close.
Well, by the time we got even closer, I looked down, and my first thought was I wasn’t going to fit. But I got in anyway because my daughter really wanted to ride. And… I couldn’t fit, at least not comfortably. My thighs were squished together. My breasts were in the way and my stomach isn’t close to being flat. My butt just couldn’t fit at all. The seats are small, yeah, but I could have fit if the divider was between us. Then again, probably not.
Anyway, by the time I was easing out of my seat while letting my daughter know I can’t ride, an attendant came up. The look on the guy’s face was a look of disgust. I will never forget that face.
My daughter never got on because she wanted her first experience to be with me riding with her. Just know, I had struggled with my weight for some time. When I was in that toxic environment with a gaslighting, abusive man, I stressed ate until I finally moved out last year. Since then, I had worked on getting healthy, in which I had improved in some areas.
It’s a process, but I am confident I will get there, and get my weight down. I just don’t want to go back to being thin as I was before my daughter was born. I just want to be at a healthy weight. I had even gotten a treadmill when I don’t want to do my walks outside.
Okay, I don’t want to ramble, but that is what had been going on with me lately. One more thing, I have also been working on taking one day at a time. The future isn’t promised to us, so we really don’t have all the time in the world. We all have to live life on our own terms and do so how we see fit.
Tell me, how have you been?